Hey guys, I don't know whats wrong with me. I slipped up yesterday and had a drag when friends were down. I'd been so irritable and cranky for the past week that some family members told me that they didn't like the smoke free me. Now, I don't know what to do. I have my shoes on with the intention of going out and buying a pack, but I have an argument going in my head. Part of me says take the shoes off, have something nice to eat and take it easy, another part is saying, buy the cigs and smoke all of the them quickly so that it makes you sick. I know they didn't mean it when they said that they didn't like the smoke free me but its quite strong when its linked with junkie thoughts.
I have been miserable for the last while, with an empty feeling in my chest and strong craves. I have been very very short tempered, cranky, sarcastic and a bit harsh with my words. I'm an absolute ***** to be honest, the longer I'm off cigs, the worse I seem to get and it scares me, is this who I really am? Cos I don't like me this way. I'm not committed to this quit at the moment because I can't see not smoking outweighing the negatives at the moment. I know that sounds ridiculous in the long run and that its wrong but I'm just feeling that I'd rather be a happy smoker than a miserable non smoker thats driven everyone away! Finacially things are tight at the moment so any money I've put aside for rewards is going on everyday things like groceries. I really don't know what to do, I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment and I could easily go either way
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/14/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 39
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 897
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �331.89
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
