Ok, here's my experience and personal view that may or may not help you.
After a yr and 4mos smoke-free without one puff I relapsed 100%. I wasn't craving and wasn't having an emotional break down, etc. I'd just finished dinner with a friend & when we went outside she lit up a cig. Smoking was not even in the forefront of my mind. But for some reason I took that cig out of her mouth right after she lit it & I smoked it. I still don't understand what the heck came over me. But I could have stopped after that one and not went for one the next day and the next and then 3 and then 1/2 pack and then a whole pack but not in the house & then in the house and everywhere else,,,it was back on for a whole year!
Ok and this time I slipped! I don't know how but I was able to not totally relapse. You don't have to either. It's your choice and u will have to live with the concequences which ever way u choose.
You don't have to finish that pack. U can wet the rest of them down and take a big whiff of how nasty they smell and go throw them away along with that lighter u have right there. Or u can tear each one apart and look at the insides and ask yourself, why do I let that have so much power over me, cuz when I did that it shed some light.
Or smoke the whole pack and take a chance on making it harder for yourself to quit tomorrow. If u can MAKE YOURSELF stop again now, it will be easier in the long run,,,or maybe not. We all are different in how we handle difficult situations. But for me, when I slipped the other night, they tasted so friggin nasty I came in here and tried to talk myself out of the 5th one, knowing that I was going to smoke it anyhow but also was playing a mind game with myself in order to make it the last. Cuz there's no telling if you choose to start back up again, how long it will be before u quit, or if u ever quit or get the chance to quit before it quits/kills you. I could very easily start up right this sec. 4 real. The junkie in my head is going strong today but I'm using my ammunition to fight it off. Ammunition being coming in here trying to help you and myself at the same time, by killing time in order to save time in my life. What a concept huh? Anyhow if I'm right, you would probably love for someone to come right through your puter screen, take that nasty cig out of your hand right now and give u a big hug and tell you that you deserve better in your life and reassure you that everythings going to be ok. Just throw them away, take my hand and let's go buy some ice cream. But sometimes there's no one around to do that and we feel so alone and stop caring about ourself and really believe that nobody else REALLY cares about us either. But then after u get out of the "funk" and a little light shines into your brain of fogginess you realize how far gone you really were.
Irish I don't know what's in your head and can't know exactly how you're feeling right now. All I can do is share my own experience & hope that it will help u to want to take care of yourself and throw those away now. Jump right back in there, make it easier on yourself.
GOD gave us all the power of choice and if you ask for it he will give you the knowledge of his will to be done and the power to carry it out. But u gotta believe and u gotta ask. Even if you don't believe it can't hurt to ask.
Hope u make a good choice because u deserve it :) BIG HUG!
Just breathe.........
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/9/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 29
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 580
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $139.20
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46
-
Quit Meter
$26,760.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 585
Hours: 14
Minutes: 43
Seconds: 7
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
4460
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
89,200
Cigarettes Not Smoked
