Well I think I have gotten a little better today and I did just go to bed early but even when I woke up to go to the bathroom last night in the middle of the night, I thought about going to get those cigs. My daughter will be home today and I will ask her to put them away but I know she will probly forget.
Anyways, I have done some thinking and looking back on why that might have happened to me yesterday. I read my posts from yesterday and they are really quite telling. You see, I am a sales person, basically a woman selling in a man's profession. And when you make a big sale here, you go smoke a cig., invite others to go with you and tell your closing story while you all smoke at the back door.
Yesterday, at about 11 am, I made a big sale and of course I didn't get my usual cig. for celebration or telling my story. I just worked on. That seems to be about the time I started feeling sorry for myself (I found one of my most pathetic posts about then).
I went for my walk at lunch and I saw a group of smokers at the back door of another company. I fantasized that they were telling great stories, and envisioned myself with them, and when I passed them I could smell thier smoke. I remember trying to think of feeling sorry for them because they HAVE TO SMOKE AND I DON'T, but I just couldn't make that feel genuine right then.
Then I really felt sorry for myself, which led to the massive all evening crave that I had. Funny but that really is the very first such crave that I have had all week. All the rest have been the 3 min. type. So it really caught me off guard. Boy when you are in the middle of that, sometimes the reasons you are giving yourself for going out there and smoking seem sooooo logical.
But I didn't and I guess I am proud of that. I am still feeling very sorry for myself, so I am going to be trying to work my way out of that today before I go home and have the same problem again.
Thank you for all your support last night. I'm sure that without you, I would be buying a carton right now.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/1/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 295
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $39.9
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33
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Quit Meter
$75,596.40
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 6701
Hours: 23
Minutes: 42
Seconds: 23
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45816
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
274,896
Cigarettes Not Smoked
