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7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 27

Hi, there. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. This is a good place to start to get help. Read through the lessons and post in the forums when you can. I have found it helpful to write about what I am feeling. You are not alone. Even if you choose not to be around others physically, you are not alone. You can always come here and read what others have written and start new conversations on a forum. Others will read what you write,and even if they aren't ready to respond themselves, they will understand how you feel and they will hope that things will improve for you. I am sorry to hear that you lost a close friend. Losing someone important in your life is hard. I lost two dear family members when I was a child, and it still hits me sometimes like it just happened. I hope that you will begin to heal from this loss and from the loss of your significant other. Remember that you can be alone without being lonely. The first step is to learn to love yourself for who you are. Hang in there and please keep us posted about how you are doing. Super Girl

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Samh,

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. Break ups can be very difficult for anyone. My heart goes out to you. As you have been struggling with depressed feelings and anxious thoughts for some time I encourage you to seek out a professional counselor to discuss these concerns. This program can help with the depressed feelings but I feel you would benefit from talking to someone about your thoughts about your ex-girlfriend. These thoughts could be related to anxious attachment, depression or another unresolved concern. What are your thoughts on speaking to a counselor?

Also, how have you tried to mourn the loss of your girlfriend but also how have you tried to heal from some of these difficult feelings?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Hi. I am not entirely sure what to write, but I feel that I am now at a point where I need to reach out to someone for help.

My girlfriend of two years split with me 8 month ago, and I haven't recovered ever since. I feel restless and compulsive. I feel like my life has spiraled out of control ever since. My professional life has been fine, but I have this constant compulsion to avoid being alone. I've moved from partner to partner, and I feel lower every time. I miss her, and I hate her. I cannot stop thinking about it all. I have nightmares almost nightly about it, about her with a new partner, about the break up itself, about everything that I couldn't do to stop it. More recently these dreams have started to take a more violent turn, where I have started imagining yelling at her in public, throwing water in her face, and at times even dreaming of acting violently against her. They feel so vivid, and I can't stand it. It isn't me, but I can't drive the thoughts away. I feel as though I can't escape it.

I'm like a broken record in my head. Alcohol and other things drive it away, and then I wake up the next day and hate myself because of it. I've lost my sense of passion for any hobbies or habits. I'm just constantly going through the motions. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I hate it, and I don't want to be this way, but I don't know what I can do to break it. I spend my mornings in bed staring at the ceiling, or obsessively flicking through my phone. I'm torn between wanting to see her and needing to drive her out of my life.

I've been battling this sense of impending sickness and this fear of death since my friend passed away in 2013 and it has recently surfaced since the break up.

I really feel like I am at my wit's end. I need help, and I really hope I can find it here. I still exercise regularly, and I keep to my old habits, but I can never save any money because of my constant need to avoid being alone - I have to go out and see people and be around others. All of my money is sucked up through partying, which leaves me hungover and stressed about my finances, but the idea of staying at home alone makes me feel sick.

I'm sorry that it sounds so dramatic, but I honestly have no idea what else to do anymore.

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