EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Relationships
Loss

Advanced Search Form

Loss

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

I'm sorry to hear this Lance. This is a lot to handle but it sounds like you are being very strong.

It will be hard for awhile and we will be here for you to listen.

I wish we were there with you to help you through this and give you a hug! Just know you our in our thoughts.

Stay strong and keep posting.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Lance:

Again, I'm so sorry that you've lost your brother. It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and terribly sad right now. Unfortunately, grief is a very long, process that we go through when we lose someone we love. Can I suggest that you read or re-read the section on Loss and Grief here at the DC. Also, you might go the library to see if you can find a book that describes the various stages one goes through after a loss like yours.

You said you picked up your brother's remains at the funeral home and don't know what to do with them. Why can't you wait until the time seems right or the correct thing to do presents itself? When we lost my father, we kept his ashes for eight years until we decided the best thing to do by him (my father). It was the right time and the right place. Unless you're being pressured by family members to do something right away, I would hang on until the right time. Just my opinion.

Continue to post here when you feel like sharing or venting. We are here for you. I hear you when you say this is a big blow on top of everything else you've been dealing with. Sometimes it doesn't seem to stop piling up. And just when you were starting to get your life back on track! Doesn't seem fair, does it?

Take care of yourself and continue to let us know how you're doing.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

The reality of my brother being gone seems to be getting worse. We went to the Funeral home today to get his remains. I'm keeping them at this point as I dont know where or how to pay for a burial at this point. I cant even have a service for him. I dont know who would come anyway. But dont we all expect a nice funeral? I feel bad I cant do more right now.

He was sick for a long time and I knew this was coming, but never wanted to accept it. When we talked we just brushed it aside, not wanting to accept it. I was truly in denial and now its so real.

The past few days have been disturbing, sleep has been bad and I just dont feel up to par. This has all been a lot on top of everything else thats happening. I need a friend so bad. Someone to be with and talk to. I really have no one like that. It was my wife, I could always talk to her, but that doesnt work out now. I dont relate well to other guys as far as a close friendship goes. I related to girls better, but they always think a guy is after something else. Maybe one day I will have a friend, girl and a girl friend! Thats weird!

So, this is just a hard lonely day. Still havnt found that hug, but am hopefull.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Lance, I am so sorry to hear about your brother and your cousin.

I remember you mentioning that you were going to spend some time with your brother during the holidays, I am so glad you had those moments together, before this happened. Hang in there, you can do this, sometimes moments like this makes you realize how important the time you have is on this earth.

Kat

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 121

Thinking of you, Lance, and glad you chose to come here to share with us. We are, and always be, your virtual support group. I will be praying for you.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 102

Lance,

Of course the virtual hug won't do. That would be an insult to you.

I am on the point of losing my father, and can only imagine your pain. I've been doing a lot of pre-grieving. To actually lose someone you love is a whole other ball game. But to lose 2 people in one day that you loved. And we expect to lose our parents first. To lose your brother and a cousin. There is something about that that hits wrong and would make my head spin if I were in your shoes.

It actually makes me ache that you were able to reach out. Bittersweet ache. There's nothing we can say to take away your pain and confusion, but we are here for you too. I know I'm here. If you're able to write more, I'll be here. If you can't, then I know that you are just grieving.

Either way, please know that we are thinking of you and understand, each in our own way, your pain.

deb

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Lance,

I am sorry to hear about your loss. I am sure right now it is hard to absorb everything but you are right it will take time. Come here to post whenever you need. We are all here to listen and support you through this difficult time. Try to remember that grieving is normal and healthy, don't try to push it away or cover it up. Whenever you need to talk come here.

I am so glad you were able to connect so much with your brother, many people do not get that chance. I am also glad you are staying strong in your quit. You are right smoking will not make it better, it would probably make it worse. Try to keep in mind that your brother would want you to stay quit.

I'm so proud of you Lance, you are being so strong.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Lance, I am so very sorry to hear about your brother. I am glad you had the opportunity to create some very close and personal memories to last a lifetime. Cherish those and remember those good times. I am also sorry to hear about your cousin.

That must have been a very emotional call.

Sounds like you are doing well, not smoking, not drinking and dealing with these major life events. I am so happy to hear that.

Please keep us posted and know you are in our thoughts (my prayers, as well).

Virtual hugs might not what you need, however, be sure to seek out those who love and care about you and suffer the same loss.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 194

Well I post today with sad news. I wasn't sure if I would, I am going through a lot of emotion and I'm all over the place.

My Brother I was talking about before Christmas and tried to spend it with, since he felt it would be his last one. Passed on Sunday. He was right. The last several month's were, although apart, maybe the closest we had been in years, due to his life circumstances. He had some rough years, that played a role in his illness and death. I'm glad we had that. We talked 2-3 times a week and emailed a lot too. It's hard to comprehend.

So, the day of making arrangement I receive a call from relatives I had lost contact with and was trying to find. They called to let me know of the passing of a cousin I really cared for and as the call went on asked of my brother. How often do you get a call about a death and have to inform of one too? It was just insane.

So, a hard week. Spirit is still okay as far as my well being. I will save the SSC and just say, smoking has sounded a little tempting, but WONT do it. It's just wanting something to make it better! Virtual hugs wont work right now, Vodka is not an option. So time........

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Loss