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Relationship


13 years ago 0 910 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow Goofy! What an inspiring post! You go girl! I am so happy and proud for you! Yay!
13 years ago 0 223 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Goofy,
 
This is awesome!
 
What a healthy relationship you have. I'm happy for you.
 
Pete
13 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Samantha,
lol, I have used that section on relationships many times since I got to the Depression Center.  It is very helpful to me in defining relationships and I also use the one on role transitions.  I highly recommend both. I've used these with individuals in mind and I've used them for information in general.  I've worked through them twice with a specific person in mind with my therapist.  
Wow, I keep coming back.  lol, y'all can't get rid of me.  This program has built me up again.  Not always sustainable, but so much more now than when I got here.  I learned where a lot of my negative thoughts were coming from, threw 'em out the window so to speak(by challenging them) and developed new thought patterns.  It's helped me to improve my self-esteem and get part of my "old" self back.  It encouraged me to do things for me, that I deserve it.  It has led me on a journey to push myself even when I don't want to - see recent post about HS reunion.  As I progress, it gets easier to make myself do things I don't want to do socially.  It's helped me learn ways to cope with my anxiety and introduced new ideas and suggestions for coping.  It's helped me to accept me as I am now and know that the person I once was is still here, just in a slightly different way.  It's helped me give myself permission to feel what I feel as long as it isn't self-defeating.  It's taught me how to recognize those self-defeating thoughts!  I don't have many pity parties anymore and if I do, I see them where before I once did.
When the depression at it's worst reared it's ugly head in the midst of my recent dizziness, I didn't hesitate to call the doctor, knowing I didn't have to be that way and I just needed a little help to get through this rough time to get back to where I am today.  When I rebound, I rebound to where I was before instead of having to work my way back up.  
In terms of relationships when he was alive it helped me draw boundaries (alcoholism) and establish the relationship on a mutual ground.  when he passed, I had to do the same with my Uncle (alcoholic) as he and I share the responsibility of taking care of my 99 1/2 year-old grandmother (something I couldn't have done when I got here, I still have trouble taking care of me sometimes, back then I didn't take care of me at all, I had a power of attorney - still do, but not needed).  
It gave me the courage and the strength to venture to do new things, try new things, do things I used to do again.
I could go on and on but you get the drift.  The medication helps, the therapy helps, the other things, meditation, spirituality, tai chi, journaling, all help but this program I give more credit too than any or all of the above combined.
rofl -  now send my ten dollars for this commercial message to .....  Seriously, I mean every word of it.
What will I think of this relationship 10 years from now.  Well, I used to say my picker was broke.  I think my picker got fixed.  I think this relationship is healthy and I deserve that.  I can bring away many positive experiences and interactions and memories.  I can think of many things I've learned, we've shared and I know I'll always cherish the time we've spent together irregardless of how it ends up (not saying it won't hurt and that I'm not anxious about that re: the depression).  but I'll be damned if I am going to let that stand in my way of being in the first healthy relationship I've ever had.  I hope I can apply the section on grief as well as I did with dad's death to the death of a relationship if it ever comes to that.  Let's hope that's a long way off.  :)
13 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Goofy,
 
Yay!  That is such an uplifting story. Thank you so much for sharing. What a wonderful person to have in your life. A person who knows the situation, understands, and recognizes when you are doing something harmful to the relationship. 

13 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi goofy,
 
Thank you for sharing this with us, it is great to hear that you were able to embark on the endeavour of this relationship. Have you used the relationships section of the depression program to help you reach this point? How did the program help you prepare yourself to be in this relationship? What will you think about this give years from now?
 
How exciting about your road trip coming up! Congratulations on your 1 year anniversary tomorrow! One day at a time is a great what of looking at it! 
 
 

 

Samantha, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I hadn't had a relationship with someone of the opposite sex since the onset of my depression.  I started to feel well enough to embark on this endeavor about a year and a half ago. I found a friend through a friend that was attractive to me both physically and mentally.  We had some things in common, he knew depression first hand and worked in policy analysis for stress management, so he had some insight. With my education, work experience, and now first hand knowledge,  we had that first common link.  We found others along the way in our friendship and a year ago (July 1) was our first date.  
I haven't written posts about trying to sabotage the relationship and he called me out on it (made me aware of what I was doing) and we worked through it.  I also talked in posts about my anxiety and the "ifs" if it failed and how it would effect my depression.  I still have some anxiety about that - but I have anxiety about anything that might cause me to be where I once was with my depression (in bed 24/7).  
Anyway, my success - 1 year relationship anniversary tomorrow. Where is the relationship going....one day at a time....where ever it goes.  
I'm going to go see him tomorrow and we are going on a little road trip over the 4th.  :)  



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