I wanted to welcome you (late as I have not been on in a while) to the forums. I agree it is great you are taking time for yourself. It is important. Take care of yourself. As for the smoking, you will quit when you get to that point in your life. I did and if I did anyone can do it! Please keep us posted!
It is so good to hear you have been taking time to yourself by camping. Taking time like this to reflect and understand yourself can be incredibly important in the whole process.
There are a number of members there that are going through the exact same thing as you. This site also has different resources available that could help you if you do choose to quit!
Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing!
I am a little late in responding but I want to thank you all for your support in this time of need. I have been very busy traveling meaning camping, to quite places in nature. I find that this helps me think and heals my sole some what. I am not sure what direction to go in yet. I am still trying to find myself and some inner peace. I just seem to keep running from I know not what. I find it really hard to be around people for more than short periods. I have been thinking about selling my home for the last few years and relocating to some where that is much more private, isolated and peaceful. I am still smoking and really do not see a end in sight to the nicotine addiction. Anyway I am still here trying to figure it all out. I hope you are all well and having a happy New Year.
Hi Sid and welcome! Everyone has said many of the things I had thought when I read your post. What I'd like to repeat is - Take care of yourself and find something good for you to fill your time with. Rose is correct, you should be commended for being so devoted to your husband's care. Goofy is also correct that you have a void to fill and she makes some excellent suggestions.
I think Goofy makes and excellent point in that moving on does not mean you should feel guilty. It is normal to move on and your husband would want that for you. Life moves on whether we want it to or not, so moving on is a natural progression. It does not mean you will ever forget your husband or love him less. It means you are still living.
Let us know how you're doing with quitting smoking. It is difficult to get rid of something that seems to ease the pain . Maybe transferring to something that doesn't impact on your health in such a negative way would be better. I knew someone who used carrot sticks to help with the hand to mouth movement and having something to chew on. He said it helped and he did quit smoking. I have no first hand knowledge on the "how to quit" because I never smoked so I can only offer a well intentioned suggestion. I send best wishes for your success.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your grief is a normal reaction to the loss of a loved one. Depression following this is not uncommon, but it becomes a problem when intense grief is felt for too long. There are many people within this support group that share the same questions and concerns as you. We are all a group of individuals who support one another.
Please take the time to go through our Depression Program . As you move throught the program, the worksheets will change as you change. As one of our members has suggested, look in your toolbox for the Grief and Loss Session under Auxiliary. We strongly advise that you work slowly through the program and not jump ahead. Also track your mood with the Mood Tracker (and keep notes in the space provided), you'll see much improvement over the coming weeks.
Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any other questions or concerns.
Sid welcome glad you decided to join us. Sounds like you have had your plate full of activities and been very busy and now there is a big void because the issues that occupied your time are (sorry to hear of your loss) gone. In my opinion, you need to refill that void with something that pleases you. I don't know maybe lunch with some friends that are hanging around, starting a new craft project....many ideas come to my head.....what are you thinkin?
Please don't feel guilty about moving on.....it doesn't mean you grieve any less or it's less painful. I recently loss my father and the sessions of grief (right side of page under toolbox) were very helpful. There's a couple of others there that helped me out as well.
hello sid, welcome! if you did quit smoking kudos to you, i haven't been able to. have you spoken to your doctor. there are medications that ease the anxiety - you deserve to feel better. i understand the caretaker thing - it's exhausting. you are to be commended for caring for your husband. now you must care for yourself. you're still here honey!!!! post often, we are here for you! merry christmas!
I am new here. I am 54 a female and a widow since 2003. I have grief issues still. My husband was sick for many years with ptsd from the war and dementia. we were married for 27 yrs. I have had a hard time also quitting smoking because of the grief associated with the loss of my cigarettes. I also have anxiety which can be very disabling at times. I have some ptsd associated with my husbands long term illness of ptsd and dementia. I was his sole and only caregiver 24 hrs a day for 4 yrs until he passed away in 2003. It has been really hard and depression finding my way back to a normal and happy life.
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