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down (overwhelmed) and out (avoidance)


15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi rose,
 
I think i was handling a lot of work stresses by hinding in the fun stuff.  I was trying to do that pleasure stuff but never looking at how much I was hurting from pushing myself.  Swallowing breakfast in the car to be on time... yelling and being miserable every moring for 2 months to be on time ... trying every trick to save 4 or 5 Seconds every where every morning to be on time and yet   STILL 15 minutes late!!!!
 
And not feeling appreciated.  Feeling that i cheeted the company by 6 hours a week for 2 years !!!  As though I spent an hour on the internet during company time everyday.  I spent 15 mins of break and an extra 10 or 20 but NEVER an hour and this during an evaluation.  And my side was never heard!!!  my boss believed the rumors and the tattatle-tales and I could never explain myself ... 
 
I even want to leave because of this.  10 years nov 24th and to think that i would steal like this!  this is not a pen or a few photocopies.  These are hours and hours!  This is a serious lack of trust.  I can not go on with this on my heart and I can not discuss this deep hurt.  So what do I do?
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
ah, Wildcat, hugs on the fizzle out, crash and coffee!  I'm sorry that you are going through this.  But remember as some one points out in their "signature line"  this too shall pass!  
 

15 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
do you think you were just trying to do too much at once? that's when i usually lose it....home repairs can be a huge frustration....that's why a good handyman/woman is worth their weight in gold.
15 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
the energy fizzed out and I crashed.  I am again miserable.  and surviving on coffee!
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
ah oh, tell me more?  The plastering didn't go well, the toy room isn't what you expected.....or worse??
 
I hope it's tomorrow!

15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Boom !
15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wildcat, I am so glad to hear that you are energetic enough to be plastering and taking care of a 5 year old!  Thank goodness my child is grown during this time.  I have noticed your positivity!  I knew you were remodeling...I hope that you have continued success and I look forward to hearing from you in the near future!
 

15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi goofy,
 
I have been plastering the bathroom and putting together a play area in the basement for the kids (with my husband).  But at the same time thinking.  I do that every once in a while...
 
I have learned a lot here and have made an effort to repete the lessons everyday!  Have you guys noticed??? I have tired to be positive? and all  Well I needed the time to integrate the lessons into the filing cabinet in the back of my mind.
 
Also, I have been looking over me!  These projects have been pushing my energy limits and I have had a bit of fluxtuation but I have not had any major stress.  Only my hormones provoked a tiny blip.  Maybe all those classes and lessons are finally starting to bear fruit?  I am finally getting to a better balance...
oh well where ever that is ... I know that I am never going to truely one thing always.  I keep remembering that bag that said "normal is a cycle on the washing machine."  And it is true.  My machine is times and does the same thing year in, year out.  Where as I change and learn and innovate.  I am never going to be the same exact same person two different moments during this lifetime.  And it is quite and adventure.
 
Even if at the current moments I am cursing (and teaching new vocabulary to my 5 yr old) thanks to the dry wall.
15 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rose thanks for asking, but I got a mess going on with the doctor thing too.  The general practitioner ordered a CT scan that found nothing wrong with my stomach but an ovarian cyst.  So I had the results sent to the gynecologist. He ordered an ultrasound, at the same time, I was referred to the gastroenterologist and she wanted a endoscope with a biopsy.  I was thinking - whoa horsey!  I got two people working on one thing.  Let's see what the gynecologist says, then I'll schedule the endoscope.  No since getting in any big hurry.  They don't. 
 
I'm hoping with my new daughter-in-law and granddaughter that the mood won't be so somber.  Mom was the life of the party so to speak and dad was okay then, too.  We are such a small family to start with and as you said, I'm over my losses, not meaning I don't miss mom, but I accept that life goes on.  It's that overwhelming sense of dread that it's gotta be done.  I mentioned that dad hasn't moved ANYTHING since mom has been gone 2.5 years.  He doesn't want to change the way things are done.  Go somewhere else, go out to eat, have it catered (all suggestions I've made).  
 
 I have probably contributed to your loneliness Rose.  I've been a bit overwhelmed and I've been here- reading, but not saying alot.  I think Mom of 3 and someone else was away for the weekend.  Wildcat is remodeling and I can't remember who was going to Budapest (I think).  It was a lot busier when I first joined too.  I get so much out of it, I have to make myself respond.....it helps and or write something....it helps too. Let's hope that everyone is doing sooo great, they don't need the group and we can make new friends until we get there (we are getting there, you know!)
 
 
15 years ago 0 142 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi goofy - glad you relaxed and had fun at the wedding - any news back from doctor yet? i know what you mean the "somberness is overwhelming". i try to keep em busy - we have a bonfire out in the yard or go for a long walk after the meal, or play cards or nowadays its Wii - which is a lot of fun and involves the whole family. i dread the holidays too. my family is
getting smaller all the time. it's sad, i haven't gotten over my "losses" yet and the holidays trigger so much! i'm glad you're still writing, it feels lonely around here lately. i got too used to doing this everyday and now nobody is talking much. how come?

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