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You did great! You said goodbye to your friend and that's why you went. You accomplished what you went for. I think most people are less social at funerals because they are unhappy events. That you weren't as social as others likely went unnoticed, except by you.
You are correct about how difficult these can be. Sylvie is right about it getting easier the more you do it, but it's still hard. I feel very ackward at social functions also. Usually once I am there I can find a way to enjoy myself at least for awhile. If I don't know many people and begin to feel out of place I leave as long as my goal for being there was accomplished. You went to the funeral to bid your friend goodbye, you did that so you did well.
Hang in there Panda, the next social event you must attend will be a little better and may be a happier occasion making chances for conversation easier.
Panda,
It's great that you got out and went to the reception even if you weren't entirely comfortable with the situation. Challenge yourself by going out for short periods of time and speaking with people. The more you try and challenge yourself, the easier it will get.
Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
hello again,
i can totally relate to what you are saying. i hate crowds, can't breathe, feel like all the oxygen has been sucked up - so in the past i would make the fatal mistake of drinking - to try to relax or fit in - only make a bad situation worse. much worse. you went to support your friend and that's a good thing. sometimes i feel like getting a tattoo on my forehead that says, "it's me, not you" or "medicated for your protection". I think we are all a bunch of "loners" because we are so sensitive - to criticism or judgement, some of us can suck it up and be social, others (like me) don't stray too far from home. don't beat yourself up.
Sounds like a tough time. I totally agree with you. I find I am good with people one on one but find myself feeling trapped and lame when having to deal with them as a group. I might not be lame but I perceive myself to be. I get anxious and I do not know what to say or do... On top of it, funeral are not happy affairs...
But you should be proud of yourself. You did go. I have had occasions where I could not even make myself go to important funerals. You went and said hi and all that and you should be proud that you did.
I was at a post funeral reception for my best friend's mother's funeral. Everyone was sitting and standing around talking and I had no idea what to say. I knew very few of the people one of those that I did know said ,"How you doing, Keeping busy?" I said yes But the only thing that goes through my mind is, I'm not happy, I have no life, I'm under treatment for depression and I have no idea how to talk to anyone.
I have no idea how and what those people are saying and how they can stay all crowded together in a room. So I said Hi and Goodbye to my friend and left.
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