Hi Josie,
Thanks for your support and reply. I know what you are saying is right about exercising and finding some peaceful leisurely activities, but I still have no interest. I have scrapbooking as a treasured hobby, but even that seems to offer no relief. I haven't been able to even go in that room for the past two months. I find that writing in my personal journal seems to help, which I have shared with my therapist on a weekly basis. I am still waiting for the increase in my medication to start being effective where I can see and feel a difference. I realize that you or even other members cannot give me advice on my marriage, because ultimatley it is my decision on what to do. Right now since my mind and thoughts are so distorted with irrational thinking, I will wait until I feel better before making any life altering decisions that would affect my family. I just need sometimes an outlet to get those feelings out and let others like me know they are not alone, whether it is comforting to know or not I am not sure. I still struggle with daily destructive thoughts of death and my future, but at least now those thoughts don't consume me every hour of the day. I really thought I was losing my mind and should have probably been hospitalized, but I just couldn't and promised my doctor and therapist to call if the depression gets overwhelming. Thanks again Josie and all of you who are listening and offering support.
Wishingwell
