this is the first time i have been depressed and not been in a relationship. it has worked out much better for me. i used to be a relationship addict. as soon as one relationship ended i was desperate to get into another. but now i am in recovery, in fact i have passed on every single relationship oportunity that has come my way in the last year and a half because i knew that i would not find happiness with them. at 42 with 3 kids i have to be very selective. also, at this age, most of the "good" partners are in relationships, leaving the guys who are not so well equiped as the vast majority. ah, well, no worries, got plenty of time.
but as to the topic, how depression as a single person has been different. the biggest advantage is that i cant blame someone else for "making me feel bad". going along with that is that i cant distract myself by fighting with my partner. also, i dont have to worry about how i am bringing someone else down. or, to flip it over completely, how i have to walk on eggshells so that i dont upset my partner. now that i am not in a dance of disfunction i can concentrate on the rythyms and cadences of my life. i love to dance by myself, finding the steps and moves that joyfully express the music in me. what is it the say, dance like noone is watching.....
