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Husbands?


18 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have been dropping hints here and there that I would like his help, bue he seems so thick about it. Then when I bring it up forthright he acts as if he does not hear me. I feel so lost right now. Today was better than yesterday, but this energy seems so temporary. I am afraid to go looking for a therapist, I have had really bad experiences in the past and don't know where to begin.
18 years ago 0 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
If depression were something you could reason your way out of perhaps you could follow your husband's advice. I think he is just as frustrated as you are and that is all he knows to say ie. do this and do that and you'll feel better (he is trying to find a solution) and he may be right. The problem is you are unable to follow his advice. If you were, you probably wouldn't be depressed. It takes away all motivation and leaves us feeling paralyzed. Even looking for a therapist can be very hard. Let your husband know you appreciate his attempts to help you and that you know he is in a real catch 22 because there is no answer he can come up with and at the same time you are quite naturally looking to him for help and both of you go to see someone trained in how to help you. This will give him the education about depression he needs and you the tools to fight it. You are not alone!!!! Hang in, Trisha
18 years ago 0 54 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Run don't walk to a good therapist and put yourself in their hands. If the one that you go too isn't the right fit, find another one. You need to come first and you will never be ok for your husband if you don't. I am the spouse of someone that is dealing with depression. We don't have a glue how this feels and you can't just snap out of it. If you could you would. You need to find comfort and peace and it a long slow road to that place. Do it for yourself and you will be doing it for your family. Hang in there and let us know how you are doing. I care.
18 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
;p Oh! We go through this every other day!!! I was diagnosed with a ridiculous amount of psychiatric disorders at the age of 8. I am an incest survivor, and all of sudden my husband says "Just stop thinking about it" or " try to forget it" OKAY!!!!! At first I wanted to agree with him, nobody really wants to admit they have a disorder anyway!! I had been in treatment off & on since I was 12. At 29 I get married and I don't need prozac, xanax, or psychiatrist!! So, we did it his way for about 9 months. Then KABOOM!!! major breakdown!! I was hospitalized for a week, started back on meds & therapy and did well. Unfortunately, the treatment also involves painful & disturbing memories, flashbacks, thoughts and feelings!!! It doesn't seem like you can ever just be "normal again" but it can work, I have my moments, but mostly I have a better life now than can ever remember!! At peace!! I had to forgive my father!! and let that little broken girl let go of it!! It can work for you, consultations are usually free and then they can help you decide if you need further treatment. Try it and let me know!! Daisy :)
18 years ago 0 99 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Unless your husband is a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist he can't help you like a professional and even if he were, most therapists would not treat members of their own family because of the emotional connection. If you had arthritis would he tell you not to go to a medical doctor that he could "tell" you how to make yourself better? It sounds to me like he needs to educate himself about depression and help you find that therapist!
18 years ago 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Recently I have been getting into a lot of fights with my husband. He says I am treating him badly, but I feel like he is treating me badly. We got into a big argument last night, and he tried to tell me some advice on how to pull myself out of my depression. I just ended up getting frustrated and feeling guilty. We are arguing all the time, and he feels if I would just follow his advice (which was vague at best) that everything would be okay and I would feel better after a few weeks of doing housework and changing my negative thoughts. I see where he is coming from, but it didn't work before, I don't know why it would work now. He had agreed to help me find a therapist, but last night he said, "I don't see why you need one, all they are going to do is talk to you and I can do that." I told him I needed someone more objective than he, but it just seemed to go in one ear and out the other. I wonder if he is wrong about everything (which seems irrational) or it is really all me and I ought to not argue because I can't think for myself right now?

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