I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2003, but Ive likely been suffering for over 25 years. To complicate things, over the past couple of years many health problems have led to chronic pain issues, which have added to the depression. I havent been able to work since 2003, but need and want to. I dont know where my self-esteem is. I typically feel worthless, useless and of little value to anyone. I have a teenage son and a mother that live with me who are demanding, mean and unsupportive, and a wonderful husband who is rapidly losing patience. Im on all kinds of meds, and the mood disorder ones dont seem to be helping at all. Ive been on them for a couple of years. Im not in therapy because I cant find anyone to help me. I just dont know what to do to feel okay and be a person again. I try the affirmations, self-talk, reading everything I can, but people keep getting to me. I want so much to be a positive individual who can laugh, appreciate life and contribute, not a joyless, miserable and empty person who doesnt want to leave home. I dont know where I went or why I cant find my way back??!! I know what all my issues are I just dont know how to make them go away. Can anyone relate and do you think there really is a fix? I need help.
