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How to deal with what ifs


6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you so much! How did you break the habit of breathing too deeply. I catch myself sometimes trying to get as much air as I can :(. I hate the feeling of "not getting enough air".
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
No I totally understand.

But listen, you'll get there.  

Remember it is not a permanent disease - it is just anxiety.

Everyone has anxiety.  

My dog has anxiety.  When I try to bathe him, he runs.  That is his flight response activated.
Fishes have anxiety.  When you try to catch one, they flee. 
Coworkers have anxiety.  When someone gives them an assignment at 5pm on a Friday, they become dangerous.  Fight activated.

The difference btwn them and us is our beliefs and thoughts about anxiety otherwise physiologically we are normal (though sometimes that is hard to believe, or feel).  You will get there.  I had what you had and I conquered it. So I speak with experience. 

Hope you are feeling better.  Enjoy the sun.  
6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hahha. Well that made me smile. I am glad I can come here and talk about these things. It is super frustrating and it gets me down missing how I used to feel when this breathing thing wasn't an issue and I was happier. Like now I stress and get sad about the silliest things. My fiancé is going to Montreal for the weekend and I am so sad thinking omg I won't see him for the whole weekend. He's one person who really helps me through this so its hard to not be around him lol.
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
That was me yesterday.  I actually did cry lol.  My mom walked in and I was like, it's allergies.  She bought it haha.  

It's okay to let the tears out.  There is no shame in feeling vulnerable.  Youre human.

Also, it\s okay if you have these down periods.  You have this forum to lift you right up.  Think of a boxer who just got punched.  View us like your coach, slapping your face, picking you up, spraying you with water, massaging your shoulders and pushing you back in the ring to show who is champion.

Ding, ding, ding, ding!
6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thank you so much. I really needed that. I am feeling extra emotional today for some reason and trying not to break down crying at work! Its not a great feeling. I get random days like this especially when I am feeling overwhelmed. I know I feed into it with my damn fears. I wish this was easier to let go. Slowly I am guessing!
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ofcourse.  

Im at work too.  I was just typing and suddenly I started to panic.

I just saw your other post.  

I was reading the anxiety work book and it states that:

Anxiety is normal and it naturally declines on its own, if left alone.  For ex if someone is driving for the first time, they are nervous and anxious.  But through repetition, they grow confidence and the anxiety gradually extinguishes.

Why anxiety stays -
By developing certain beliefs about anxiety ie. you cannot handle it, that it is horrible, you contribute to its persistence and perpetuation.  The goal of CBT is to stop you from resisting anxiety and allow it to happen as it will naturally decline on its own.

Applying this to you - You are saying I wish this could stop. Again this is resistance.  I TOTALLY know where you are coming from (ie I was there 2 days ago and I know its hard to be in that frame of mind when you are afraid) but we have to, even in our fear, speak the language of CBT to end this.  This kind of self-dialogue continues to supply it with fuel.

When the derealization symptoms pop up in my situation, I feel my heart racing and I am ready to panic but then I say: 

It's okay to panic.  It's totally fine. Panic is normal and natural.  I will allow it to happen and I will watch it as a 3rd person with my popcorn in hand. 

Allow the breathing fixation to happen.  Welcome it.  Have your popcorn and let it throw a tantrum while you watch like a boss.  Eventually it will go away.  It always does.  You have evidence of this because you said on the weekend you had several hours of not even thinking of it.  That is amazing.  It confirms that remission is totally possible.  Just trust me.  I am going through the same thing right now and it helped.
6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today has not been a great morning:(. I don't know if its cause I'm sad the weekend went so quickly and now I'm back to work or what. Just feeling super sad and super anxious. My breathing is all over the place. Does this happen to you sometimes?
6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
You are also awesome!! I agree this forum definitely has been helping me.
We are all in it together! 
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Amet youre awesome. Im sending you a virtual hug. I just panicked (I experience anxiety mainly in the morning) and I felt like crying but when I remember this forum honestly it gives me courage.

Thank you so much. Me too. Any techniques she shares, I will share it here to benefit you and anyone experiencing panic attacks.

We WILL get through this.

6 years ago 0 71 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Yes I totally get that feeling!! Sometimes it's like I just want a break but you feel so trapped.
It is definitely your anxious brain taking control. Any strategies my therapist shares I will post them here :).
We will get through this! 

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