My two Chihuahuas and Dwarf Hamster and I have been in a hotel since yesterday. The dogs are happy and running around which tells me the stress and negativity back at Dad's apt. was really bad. Well, it's all about attitude. What I've learned from the counselor and from two new friends is that I can't take responsibility for everyone and everything that happens in life. My Dad is in good health and he has 20/20 vision. He's a grown man and he can do what he wants. Neighbors and workers will check in on him. I can't stay in an abusive situation. And, having said that, this will sound hypocritical. My verbally and emotionally abusive ex is the "friend" I mentioned in the post below who is flying down and driving me back home. I have no where to go. My girlfriend said if things get bad with him, I can move in with her, but she has to clear out a bedroom used for storage. Her son is a heroine addict and she's got her hands full. And, that's a stressful environment to put me and my pets in. All of us living in one room. At least at my home, I've got a fenced half acre for the dogs. And, I have the whole house to myself for 12 hours during weekdays while he's at work. And, on the weekends he's doing yard work. We lived like roommates before. He lives upstairs and I live downstairs. His contention is money. I'm going to try to use my new communication skills to keep things okay. And, stay in budget. I've left four times over the past 16 years and I always end up back there. Well, the positives are that everything is familiar and it's a quiet, peaceful town. It's isolating and lonely but, the world is like that now with people being inward with technology. I am learning to adapt. I've, also, decided to get chickens. It's on my bucket list. So, I'll have things to do. I've had a lot of people who have said, get a job and live on your own. In the U.S. minimum wage is 7 to 8 dollars per hour. I'd be on food stamps and living in a ghetto or in a halfway house. That is not the life I choose to live. I think I realize that life is what it is. But, it's not a movie where you get everything you want or life is easy. I'm doing the best I can and I'm not worrying about what anyone thinks. I'm the only one who can live my life. I just found out a dear friend passed away. It's been a lot lately but, I'm focusing on today and I'm moving forward into the future. All the hurts of the past are just thoughts that can pass right through my mind without me entertaining them. It's hard with the hurtful things my Dad said, but I let them pass on through. Soon, the thoughts will get quieter and quieter until they are silent. And, I did not abandon my Dad. He told me to leave. I have to be aware of my thoughts and replace the negative ones with positive true statements and believe them. I love my Dad, I forgive my Dad and I told him that. I made peace with him before I left and he is responsible for his own thoughts and actions.