Thank you for the responses.
I am going to try to challenge my negative thoughts or at least let them through without judgement. It is so hard right now with my brain whirling.
My daughter hates school and it is a struggle to get her going every morning, so that is stressful. She will be fine, I hope. I just don't have a lot of faith in people. I assume the worst in them and they do tend to live up to that. There are some rare gem people who are kind at least. I have a fairly negative view on life I suppose.
I tend to let things build up and then need to vent. I don't have any friends outside of my husband, so I am fairly isolated. Add some social anxiety into the mix, and that is why I don't join anything to meet new people. I would like to join an OA mtg for example, I drove to a meeting last week. I then drove through the parking lot and went shopping, which was good because I forced myself into talking to people at the checkouts, who were fairly chatty. I have been in OA for about 3 years and lost some weight initially, but I find that when I am really anxious and/or depressed, sometimes I turn to food.
Today I have a doctor appt. I was trying to get off of my medication in order to start a new one but just couldn't. I take amitriptaline at night which helps me to not clench my jaw and so prevents migraines. We lowered the dose, and things were fine, except I felt a growing pain my my face and neck over about 2 weeks and then a mega migraine hit. A whole day of pain and throwing up. It was horrible, one of the worst I ever had. So I made an appt and just took the regular dose and now no migraines lately. So I am kind of stuck.
I take citalopram in the morning and I have found that it just doesn't do much. So I am hoping my dr will allow me to change that one instead. She had suggested propranolol as a replacement to the amitriptaline.
It is funny but I am afraid that my doctor will get mad at me for not lowering the dose etc. I always have this huge fear of getting in trouble.
I am going to try to set small goals and manage things as they happen. I keep overloading myself.
One step at a time,
Kendra
