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Bereavement, Loss, Mourning

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Trying to declutter my den made me sneeze, even though I wore dust mask. I try a better one, but it was a good one anyway. Maybe it was my goggles, which didn't fit properly, or I was sensitive after I took off the mask. I only did something for a few minutes though, to distract myself.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I washed the second soaker hose from the garden, so I can put it inside. They're so difficult to impossible to compress into any shape though....mom would have loved the roses that are trying to peep out.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thanks Ashley, I think I need rest too, but it's a bit interrupted now, as those "what ifs" haunt me, like that poem. So much is tugging at me, taking away from the experience of grieving. I just wish to immerse myself in something, but I don't know how, or what to do. I did find that a church workshop co-ordinator was out of office, so I can be with like-minded people for a bit of time. What scares me is that it wasn't long ago, that death, like anxiety, had a stigma which isolated people. There's hope for the later then. I'm not sure having both challenges what could help me, if both stigmas were present.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

I am so sorry to read this hugs. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling right now. I hope you find a way to grieve and celebrate your mother's life in a way that feels right for you.

I urge you not to worry about the "what ifs". From all I have read from you, I know you did everything you could to give your mother the best care possible. I also think your mother would not want you to worry like this. I admire you for how you cared for your mother.

Please know you are not alone in this. We are always here for you. Please post if you ever feel the need.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thanks Davit, What a mess of feelings I have, piled on top of the forum stuff, which draws us here! I suppose it's "normal". I wish there was a manual. What's irritating is that I've reached out to some church organizations which just haven't responded. Maybe that's my old self coming back, with it's grumpiness, since I'm annoyed by drivers(I saw a guy eating a pizza and driving up our street the wrong way today). Thanks for your support since 2009. You really made it so bearable, and I miss you too.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi hugs

Just stopped to see how you are doing and yes there is a lot more than just loss as anyone who has gone through this knows. I hope you have found a way to cope.

I read all your posts over the years, I know you did all you could and then some.

Davit.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

If there isn't enough to deal with in life, which brings you to this forum, here's a challenge. This grieving process is hard, since the grave might not be convered until spring, because of the weather, so it's hard to help the closure(s). I'm flood with self-doubts, and have my "thought record" close to me. I'm going to ask for some connection from the relatives, since I feel better when I'm with people. I'm haunted by whether the right medical decisions were made, all along. I don't know anyone who has a perfect medical system, though. And the legal stuff which I have to get entagled in might be too much, and it's been blended into my worries daily. When I see others passing, all I see is a "loss", but there's so much more.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Thank you to everybody. I'm just numb, and then overwhelmed with wanting to do things, but then wishing to balance my over-busy mind with respecting her. I can't believe this has happened. I can't see my doc until next week either, but many relatives have called to ask me to talk.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 169

My condolences, it does take time to heal something broken. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hugs,

First off I want to say I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time and want you to know you will be in my prayers. Secondly the only advice I can offer you is from my own personal experience with the grieving process.

When my husband passed away 11 years ago I was devastated and quite lost. I was his sole caregiver and he was my main focus for many years. The first thing I did after his passing was find myself a grief/bereavement group run by a local Hospice.

We met once a week. I attended these support group for over a year and they helped me understand and go through the grieving process. Sometimes we would go out for coffee after the group meetings. Next after a time I began going to the mall and spent a lot of time walking there which helped me fill my time, sometimes I would stay and go to see a movie while I was there, it was my way of killing time when I didn't want to go home. I also started going and visiting different churches and went to church services on Sundays even though Saturday is really my day of worship, some even had services on Saturdays. I read a lot of spiritual based books on going thorough the grieving process and they help me a lot as did the support groups and lot of prayer. I started making meals again and began to eat and take of myself again. Something I had not done for a long while and in time I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel and came out on the other side of my grief..

I do not if my experience will help you right now but remember will are are thinking of you..

Red...

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