Not much new today..Went for a walk this morning and looked for shoes again at the mall this time and came home empty handed again..We did get a dvd and came home and relaxed and watched it tonight. I have a busy week starting tomorrow. Left a message for the dentist to call me about a upcoming procedure and have a doctors appointment with new primary doctor at a new clinic on Thursday..Still need to get all the medical records in a folder for the appointment.
The biggest challenge for me is going to be to not let myself get to anxious about these appointments..I have been feeling the anxiety building for the last few days so I have been trying to distract myself with activities. I just choose the wrong type of activities this time like being in crowds so it was not helpful.
I still do feel a lot of anxiety as things built up with all the anticipation over these exposures. I really dislike these feelings that I get..
I read some where that the heart feels your emotions and it feels your pain, sadness, joy and fear..These Feeling that I have, I feel in the center of my being, my heart really..These are the ones that are hard to feel and let go of. This are the ones that scare me and make me sad too sometimes because feeling these feelings in my heart is both emotional and physical at the same time..It does overwhelm me at times.
So for right now I am going to go to bed and wish for pleasant dreams tonight.
Last night I had a dream that I was in the hospital again. I was alone this time and was not sure what dept I was supposed to be in. I was there to have surgery again..
Red