So, I've been reading posts..........
Hi Steve, How are you doing today?
I hope that after a good sleep you feel strong to face today head on, and take on all its challenges!
Gosh, reading your post I can almost hear many of my own thoughts and concercns, whilst I am not about to go thru surgery and have not lost a parent I did lose a very very close relation after an op.......she was a smoker and was seriously ill and going thru major surgery, although the surgery was a success she never regained concioussness and ever since I will not go under sedation...I had quite an invasive procedure a year or so ago and chose to go thru that without sedative - but trust, me I will be feeling extremly apprehensive if and when the time comes. I think your thoughts and concerns are just understandable considering what you have been thru, but please try to keep as calm as possible - its fine to be nervous and anxious about a surgery but I am sure a consultant would be able to help put many of your fears into true prospective, and steve, ultimately a smoke is not going to make those fears go away, its not going to change anything other than put your health at greater risk - and I am guessing you would also feel great dissapointment in yourself too for giving in to the evil white ones!! You've done so well....nearly 3 days of extra life gained, awesome!
As for your other issues, just give things a bit of time - battle one thing at a time each day at a time, u dealt with the smokes, deal with the surgery, then deal with everything else, one thing at a time once thats over! Your only human Steve and you cannot possibly battle everything at once!! The job might be driving you nuts but least you have one and its bringing home the bacon, plus, your not going to change that overnight it needs planning! As for the girlfriend situation only you guys can sort that out, Maybe your relationship is just feeling the pressure of all the other strains and stresses going on in your life, on the other hand maybe it has run its course and its time to move on - only you can answer that question. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since I quit and some of my close friendships and relationships have been quite strained and I have been extremely emotional and quite depressed too - I honestly believe that an element of our quit is learning to deal with life stresses in a different way than just reaching out for the pack of 20!! We've come so far thou steve, and I know deep down in my heart of hearts one puff, one cigarette, one packet is not going to change anythin thats going on, all of lifes stresses are still going to be there, and it would not really make any of it any easier- you know that.
Steve sorry for the real long message but if it helps!!!!! Am always willing to chat, so if I am online, and you need an ear just yell!!! keep strong Steve, you can do this and get thru everthing and once your the otherside you will be ever so proud of your acheivements and no doubt inside you will be a much stronger person for it! Stay close to all yr new friends here and let us know how yr doing.....we will be thinking of you
x x NOPE NOPE NOPE x x
My Milage:My Quit Date: 6/24/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 34
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 850
Amount Saved: �34.00
Life Gained:Days: 2
Hrs: 14
Mins: 48
Seconds: 6
HEY EVERYONE!! HOPE YOUR ALL WELL AND LOOKING FORWARD TO A GREAT WEEKEND AHEAD!?!
BIG CONGRATULATIONS, your doing so well with your quit lots of pats on the back, big cheers and (((hugs))) I hope you find heck week a bit easier but I am sure now you have done a week smoke free you feel much stronger to keep hanging tough!!! Have a great smoke free weekend 
MANY MANY CONGRATULATIONS TRESA
