Living on the Mountain
Well, just a minute ago I was staring at the boards, wondering why the heck I was back here.
This was why. I really neaded this right now. Lady, I remember you from a year ago when i quit. I remember, in all my naivite, thinking that you were hanging onto the adiction too tightly if you were still troubled after a year.
Now here I am - One year later and thinking that this has been the worste year of my entire life. I said, through all of the craves, the anxiety, the depression, the withdrawls, the incresed bloos sugar, the raised blood pressure, the medication increse, the being put on insulin, THE WEIGHT GAIN, the withdrawls, the fights, the physical pain - this has been trully the worste year of my life. I fear death for the first time in my life. My health is the worste it's ever been in my entire life.
I said a while back that i'd give it a year. That was it - one year. If I was still suffering after a year, all promisses were off - I could choose to stay quit or start again.
It will be a year in just a few days, and I guess that i came here as a last ditch effort to find one darned reason not to go buy a pack of ciggarettes.
If there is a reason - this is it. Hope. You had it hard as well - To my knowledge, you didn't et all the health problems, but you had it rough. So... Maybe i'll give it another year.
*sigh* The way I feel now, i'm not sure i'll even live through another year.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]7/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 353
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 13,061
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3,265.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 30 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
