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5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Quitting tomorrow

Day 16

Yesterday l had a realisation of just how fallible l still am. I said in an earlier post that lve been able to keep things here very normal and subdued to avoid triggering myself. Im not working atm so lve mostly stayed home and avoided stress. Yesterday l had 2 appointments and errands to run. The first appointment was with the doctor. Normally l would get there early, grab a coffee from the cafe and enjoy a cigarette before my appointment. I really craved this one yesterday. I missed my little ritual. Then l was given some not too good health news (not smoking related). I need to have tests done for a painful muscle condition l am having. This upset my mood for the rest of the day (because if its what l think it is its not ideal). Then with my mood down l had to go to another appointment and was driving around and away from home for several hours. Whilst out and about l really missed smoking more then l have since the first days. It felt strange to be rushing around without stopping for smokes in between. I reallllly craved so much. When l finally got home l had a cry about my health news. Ive had quite a bad run health wise over the last year so this was the icing on the cake. I started to think things like "whats the point? My health is up to **** anyway" and "lve tried sooo hard to put an end to addictions over the years and there's no reward. I may as well smoke". All these self-defeating thoughts were running through my mind and on top of that really wanting to smoke to self-soothe.

l toyed with the idea of going to buy a pack "just for now" l thought. I pictured myself at the tabacconist buying a pack.

Yeh yesterday was a **** of a day and it made me realise how weak l still am. I was just saying in a recent post that l cant handle upheaval and what do you know....the world tested me. Ultimately l didnt smoke so l guess l had a win but l feel very flat about the whole situation. I didnt want to undo the work ld put in and I knew l would regret it after just one cigarette so l decided not to but l didnt at all like feeling that vulnerable and craving so much in one day. I dont trust myself yet....too much adversity could bring me undone. Another thing l noticed is lm triggered by places and situations where l used to smoke. My hope and dream is that one day (some time this year preferably) l will be able to handle any challenge, circumstance or place without craving a cigarette. Then it will be sunshine and rainbows for Sue -haha

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Quitting tomorrow

Thanks Pappy and Tim for reading whats possibly the longest post in history. I lost my bearings a bit that day

. Thankyou for supporting me through what has been a challenging time. This time has tested me and theres been some healing around the stress-trigger. You are both right in saying its natural for me to feel triggered by events and places. I think its time for me to stop tipee-toing around life and face my triggers head-on. I just have to commit to - No! Never again! No matter what!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Having a bad Day Three

Hi Terra

I can relate to crying over wanting to smoke. Its more common then you may think. Good on you for trying so hard to take your mind off it. Sometimes a day just comes along thats particularly hard....weather the storm and it will surely pass. Are you using any quit aids? Im using the minty nicotine spray which helps take the edge off a craving. It has really helped me in these early days. Hang in there fighter! It WILL pass.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Mind Games

Hows that?! The nico-demon cant get you to smoke the normal way so now its attacking your subconscious to see if it has better luck there....thats just sneaky. Good for you for standing your ground and not being moved by the underhanded mode of attack. I bet you were relieved when you realised it was a dream....phew.

24 days and going strong!!! Amazing Pappy!! Im so happy for you

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Mind Games

Haha....it sure lS a monster. It hangs on for ages (well it feels like ages) Yesterday l tried to quit the nicotine spray lm using and thoughts of smoking came flooding in. l wasnt prepared for that. Youre right....the mental part of this is so powerful. For some reason l used to think once l had a couple of weeks under my belt ld be right as rain....not the case. Eternal vigilance is required.

We have both come so far already and its so wonderful. I cant see myself going back and undoing all the hard work...ld hate to have to do this all over again but certain situations do make the ugly monster rear its head at me. I cant wait until l can stop fighting and never think of smoking at all.

Until then every time it tries to get at us and we resist is another win and is making us stronger and more resilient. We will conquer!!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Hi susieB here

Well thinking about it is half way to quitting. When l getting ready to quit l started a little quit journal. I made lists of reasons to quit, things l hate about smoking, how l would feel when l stopped smoking etc. I also wrote down things that would help me to read along the way such as "nicotine leaves the body in 3 days" and pearls of wisdom that l read or thought up such as "follow what my heart wants not what my flesh wants". This little journal helped me to get motivated to quit and is also good to refer to when l feel like giving up. Like Tim said l also read a lot on here and sites about quitting smoking. If you can cut down leading up to your quit date (although l didnt manage to do that) lm only 3 weeks into my quit and still struggling a little but it hasnt been as hard as l expected and the best thing lve done for myself in ages. Good luck!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Having a bad Day Three

Haha....youll be over smoking before you finish your yard. Great to hear youre still at it.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Quitting tomorrow

Day 21

Thanks so much Tim....no l cant believe it. I didnt have faith that l would make it this far with all my failed attempts. Im so glad l kept trying. It is indeed blah weeks because it feels like things dont progress anymore but you guys say they will so l trust you. I tried to give up my nicotine spray and it was harder than l thought it would be....l felt intense cravings to smoke so lm continuing with the spray. It feels a bit like cheating now. I just want to break all chains. I think l'll substitute spray with mints (then l'll have a sugar problem- lol. Im ok with that) lt feels fantastic to not be plagued with thoughts of smoking through the day but yes my triggers are still kicking - stress, sadness and places so l will keep saying - No! Not today! Not ever!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

I quit smoking today, March 22, 2018

Hi Gary

So great to hear. Im 3 weeks into my quit....so far so good. You sound very determined and l found that was important for me on this quit because l had tried many times and failed but this time l had more determination about it. Hold tight to that determination and tell yourself that its not that hard. Youre just changing a habit. Honestly l found that once l got past thinking this was the hardest thing ever it wasnt nearly as hard as l expected.

Youre armed with patches....thats a good thing since youre getting off a large amount. If you find the patches arent enough you can try what has really helped me through. Its the nicotine spray. I have found this to be "gold" for my quit. The reason is l substitute it so when l would normally have a smoke l pump 2 sprays instead and also it has a really intense mint flavor that burns your tongue a little and that takes my mind off wanting a smoke. If you find the patches arent sufficient l highly recommend it.

The other thing is the most intense minty lollies you can find....preferably the hard variety. The intense minty hit when you feel like smoking diverts your mind from wanting a smoke and also doing something with your mouth is useful.

Try to avoid places and situations in the early days that make you crave. For me going out was a trigger for me so l mostly stayed home in the beginning. I cant drink and not smoke so lm avoiding alcohol at all costs. And distract, distract, distract. Keep busy with things you find enjoyable and avoid stressful activities and situations.

Good luck comrade! Keep us posted

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

Quitting tomorrow

Day 24

I just feel like shouting from the rooftops "I DONT SMOKE ANYMORRRRRE!!!!"

Im feeling so ecstatic about it this morning.

A couple of days ago l walked past a smoker and l didnt even register that he was smoking. It wasnt the usual 'ohhh hes smoking, ohhh the smell, ld love one right now'....nothing. Only later on l thought to myself...that guy was smoking and it barely registered. Thats a breakthrough for me.

Im at the point that l dont think of smoking often but when l do l still think it would be kind of nice to have one. I hope l get past that. Theres also the little matter of being addicted to the nicotine spray. I dont think its the nicotine lm addicted to because its a very small amount. It feels more like the habit of spraying it in my mouth thats got me. Today lm going to substitute every second spray with a mint....see how that goes.

But still "I DONT SMOKE ANYMORRRRE"......ahhhh...feels good

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