Actually yes, just two days ago. I went out for my daily walk and a woman on the other side of the street smiled and waved to me. At first I thought maybe she thinks I'm someone else. But she crossed the street and mentioned what beautiful mild weather we were having for January. We stood around chatting for a bit, wished each other well, and off we went.
During the rest of my walk, my mood had changed completely. I kept thinking what a nice person, and how nice it felt coming from a complete stranger! I made a mental note that I will have to pass this on one day to someone else.
Negative thought: My ex is going to hate me for this and make me feel bad
Situation: My ex walked out on me Dec 31. with mixed emotions about coming back or not. I have had no contact with him up until two days ago, and he is still not giving me a straight answer. Today he was coming by to pick up his mail. So, I prepared a document for him to sign, saying that as of this date _________ he will no longer be residing at the current address, and that I will solely take responsability of the lease.
1. Because I am giving him a no say in the situation, and asking him to pls remove his things asap.
2. This may be exactly what he wants.
3. It would be that he won't sign the paper, give me some kind of excuse, that he has no where to put his things. I would tell him that he has family, and they can store his belonings until he finds a place to live.
4. That he will sign the paper, and get the rest of his things so I can work on myself and continue with my new life.
5. That he will not sign the paper, and drag it on. I probably would agree with him because I feel sorry for him.
6. That I have to remain positive, and put aside his needs because mine now come first.
7. I would tell her to keep her chin up, and take a step forward.
8. The effect of believing in this negative thought, gives me courage to face the what might come of the situation.
9. I believe that I wouldn't have had the courage to compose the letter for him to sign.
10. I don't know if there are any alternatives.
I'm taking 30mg of remeron and 25mg of seroquel. At first I was just on the remeron, and it made me sleep and eat. A year later the remeron isnt' heping me sleep at all. It even made some things worse, like racing thoughts that I couldn't get out of my head and anger/sadness that came on way too strong and out of nowhere. Now the doc has put me on seroquel. It's been one month now, and I find that the first two weeks in knocked me out to sleep, but now it just makes me relax. It also helps take the racing thoughts out of my head and controls the anger/sadness feeling.
Hi reeby, and welcome!
I understand what you are going through. I went through the complete cycle of irritability, crying, anger, and paranoia. I found that my ex was getting a little tired of all of it, and the more he avoided my pleas for his help, the worse I felt. He couldn't take it any longer, and its been 3 weeks since he left, and he's not coming back, its not easy, but I believe it will make me a stronger person.
It is important that you talk to your doctor about the meds and the way you feel. I was not followed up by my doctor, and it ended up that the meds weren't working anymore, matter of fact they were making my moods worse.
I as you have few friends, matter of fact none really. I moved a year ago, and don't know many people here, but I will try to join a community center to make friends, and I will try to do some volunteering. I encourage you to try the same, and I believe also that Dongato is right about your boyfriend. Write him how you feel, and let him come to you when he feels the time is right he will discuss his feelings about what you wrote.
take care
This may sound like a silly question, but I just saw a psychologist last Friday for the first time in my life. Im wondering if its possible to see her twice a week, or do they usually see you just once a week?
My day has been a complete waste. Didn't accomplish anything at all. Tried to start things, couldn't finish them. I've got no motivation for anything. Im tired of being alone for the past 3 weeks! I hate myself, I keep questioning why?? why didn't he understand.......... Why wont he give me an answer. Im so upset and lonley, and angry. I don't know if I want to cry or throw something! I can't sleep anymore, let alone eat. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and have it all go away. I can't deal with the pain anymore, it hurts too much......
I'm a scorpio too.
Determined and forceful
Emotional and intuitive
Powerful and passionate
Exciting and magnetic
Jealous and resentful
Compulsive and obsessive
Secretive and obstinate
Not that I'm all that, but there are some....
Hi Brooke
I think also that one of your down sides is trying to adjust to the complete lifestyle change. You say that your not the clean and cook type, and the staying at home all day with the kids is hard on you. I also find that maybe you are missing the "socializing" part of your life also.
Have you tried looking into what your community has to offer you? I know where I live there's a place where you can go just to "get out", they have a community kitchen, everyone pitches in and goes home with meals to freeze, and during this time the kids are taken care of in the daycare right in the same place. Maybe try to look for something like this, it will give you a break from the kids, and you can socialize, and the ++++ is that you get to go home with ready to freeze meals, that actually took no time at all to make and also at a cheap cost.
Try to put in a "my time". Me I don't mind staying at home cooking and cleaning, or doing my own thing in my little bubble. But after cooking the meal, eating, and doing the dishes, I always said at 8:00 its my time. Just for me pleasure!
Good luck to you
Wildcat, I loved your post! It made me laugh because I too deal with anxiety, panic attacks and I have an obsessive compulsive disorder. I count nearly everthing. I've been doing since I was a kid, my mom said it must come from when she was pregnant with me and knitting!
I mostly do it if I'm worried or upset about something, I mean I can be lying on the bed and count the knobs on the dresser even though I know there are 13, I keep doing it.
Cooking is one of my worst! Give me a carrot or celery to chop and I'll automatically count how many slices as Im slicing. I don't even realize it at times, at one point I catch my mind saying 15, and I go oops, there I go again counting! lol
Lets see what else there is I count...cars driving by, telephone poles, the lines on the road, the sidewalk cracks, my steps walking to the store....LOL
Oh boy am I messed up or what! :p
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