Hi, I am new here. My name is Megan. I'm going to tell you a lot about me because maybe it will help me (and you!). I have had anxiety disorder and anxiety attacks for years now, but it has gotten severe. I was actually doing better in the early part of this year than the latter part (as in I would drive all around and enjoy it, now I force myself to go driving and I'm lucky to get a few streets away; same with walking). I like to face my fears every day, like I went driving in a snowstorm and walked a new path but every time I fall short of my goal (which isn't that big to begin with) like making a perfect square back to home. I don't like where I live and I don't like where I work even though the people I work with are nice. I want to live somewhere more calm, peaceful, and a place that allows pets. I have OCD, Aspergers, anxiety attacks, and severe anxiety. I will go back to places where I got an anxiety attack, my problem is going out alone. I live alone. I'm going to be flying soon to see friends and family (this week!) and the airport will help me as much as they can. I have spent this Fall repairing many broken relationships and apologizing, even if they were far more in the wrong than I was. I thought that would solve everything, it has only helped a little. I had a 7 hour test done for IQ, psychology, and behavior. My IQ really ranges some things I am very superior in others I average others I flunk at. I know 8 languages and people say wow amazing but to me it means nothing when I can't live my life. 10 years ago I was a teenager living and traveling around Europe ALONE, now I can't make it to the next town alone (3 mi away). I am to start remeron next week. I miss out on events. I like working with kids. I like animals. I'm proud I drove myself to a new friends' house because they live 2 streets away. I like writing. I am creative. I feel very trapped. I have past abuse issues.
The simple cure is to take back control by wanting to do the things you have to do rather than having to. I don't understand this statement.
I am flying this Sunday. I don't mind being in the airplane, but what do I do if I get an anxiety attack especially full blown while waiting in the airport or coming off the plane and going down to baggage claim? I am flying alone to meet my parents. I fly this Sunday so if you or anyone could get back to me before then.
I unexpectedly ran into a man who abused me and the very moment, literally the very moment, I saw him I developed a fear of going out alone be it walking or driving.
1 more thing my parents keep saying start your medication and see your doctor. Well, like today I'm getting a ride to the doctor. (which means I'm missing work) My parents live on the other side of the country and are like "you'll be fine" they refuse to admit how bad the condition is and how I don't need them to live with me but I need them to be within driving distance. I am flying out to see them, will start my meds (actually on my bday) the day after I get there (I get there this Sunday, please everyone read my question below on airports) and I'm looking for a job in AZ. I am hoping being in a new place where I have family and friends and being away from hurtful people, far away, will help.
I'm confused (ps please read all messages I wrote below) you say don't force yourself but here they give you homework to face your fears. PS. Really need tips about being in an airport this Sunday. The flying I don't mind it's the airport. I have a DVD player for the flight, which thank God is a direct flight.
I will be alone in the airport this Sunday as I fly (direct flight). TSA will allow me a medical pass so I will wait in the shorter security line and my airline will allow me pre boarding for an aisle seat. However, flying isn't my issue. It's being alone in the airport, waiting in the lines, waiting for the plane to come especially since I don't go out anymore just to work which is a block away, I won't even go 4 blocks up to the market without someone (freaking out if I don't get a job out west where my parents live of what I'll do if I have to come back here and how I'll manage to get food and gas, especially food), so how am I going to handle an airport alone?
thanks Davit, that summed it up nicely. Now, I get what you mean and it was very helpful. :) So Sunday I will just imagine everyone actually walking a dog inside the airport like I might say to myself "this person I would imagine has a yellow lab" and this person I imagine has a westie, etc. and I like the phrase you use so I'll tell myself "I am here because I want to be" which I do because I really love traveling out west and leaving the cold behind.
"I am here because I want to be"
and thank you for telling me about not to force it.
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