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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Anxiety Rising

I'm Susan and I have been suffering with anxiety and depression as well as a number of health issues. These issues along with trouble establishing and maintaining work-life balance are all part of the equation.

Things are worse now as a result of recent events.

On Friday night I had to make a very difficult decision and it is still circulating through my mind. I don't know how to get rid of it and it is making me more anxious.

My companion of 16 years, Steely Grey (my cat) got ill and I had to take her to the animal hospital at 20:30. I spoke with the vet and after hearing the possible health issues and prognosis I had to decide whether or not to spend thousands of dollars to diagnose and treat her.

I made the decision to put her down. She died in my arms.

Now I keep doubting my decision and the following questions keep going through my mind. Why didn't I known that she was sick before Friday night? Was taking her to the vet the right thing to do? Was having her put down the right thing to do? Could she have been okay?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Anxiety Rising

Thank you so very much for you kind words folks.

I know it will be hard, but after reading the messages from you I can understand that I am trying to avoid grief by replacing it with panic.

You're right that I cannot change the past. I know that she loved me and that I was very lucky to be able to be with her at the end.

I will always appreciate your words of kindness everyone.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Where does Social Anxiety Stem From?

I was painfully shy as a child.

For some reason I knew it would be important to challenge the shyness as I hit teenage years. I forced myself to do things that would expose me to knew people, places and situations. I wasn't always successful, but it helped me learn coping techniques for adulthood.

I seem to have two personas - when at work I override all the anxiety and shyness (i.e I project the confidence to the business). During non-office hours the shyness returns. I seem to lose that confidence and as a result avoid some social outings. Once again I am trying to push those boundaries through volunteer work.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Stress Management - The Power of the Word "NO"

I've often pondered why I find it so difficult to say 'no'. As indicated this is a very simple question, but it seems to come along with emotional baggage.

If you were told 'no' often as a child your relationship with the word is far different than those that never heard 'no' as a child. The first seem to be able to handle hearing the word 'no', but are not necessarily comfortable saying 'no'. The second seem to be able to say 'no' with little effort, but are not emotionally ready to hear the word 'no' when it is something they want/need.

I even did a speech about the power of saying 'no'. The speech was portrayed different situation in which I would like to have responded to with the response of 'no'. For instance if I was asked to stay late when I already had plans and someone asked me to work overtime I would be all set to say 'no', but I would hear myself say 'okay, sure or glad to help'.

Here I am multiple years later still grappling with the need to learn how to say 'no'. I am trying to remember that you can lose yourself in a world of requests if you don't start using the word 'no'. I guess it comes down to equating your personal welfare with the power to say 'no' (that power allows you to also say 'yes' when you feel that you want to do something). I'm going to learn how to conquer my reluctance and fear of saying 'no'. I hope that everyone else who needs to learn the lesson can do the same.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Nerve pain triggers

I have been suffering from nerve pain for the past 20 or so years so I can definitely relate to your situation Bren.

I don't know if this can help for you or not, but you might talk to your doctor about using a medication like Gabapentin or Lyrica. It will be important to talk to the doctor about potential side-effects before you add it to your regime. Some people gain weight on these medications, but it may turn out to be that the medication's benefits outweighs the side effects.

Keep going with the exercise Bren - we're behind you!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

Perhaps I am a bit different. I end up with the blushing, sweating, shaking/trembling, trouble breathing and feeling like I could faint.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Your Top 3- Words of advice

1. Live life to it's fullest by being present in the moment;

2. Forgive and move forward. You might not be able to forget the issue, but remove the emotions from it so that you can move on;

3. Love as if you've never loved before, live as if you never lived before, and sing/dance as if you've never sung/danced before

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Vacation!

I definitely need a vacation, but not just from work, from regular life too. With my first vacation (going somewhere that doesn't involve visiting with relatives) happening just last year I very much would like to go on another one. A formal vacation isn't likely to happen.

I've been thinking of booking myself into a hotel in town. During that time no phone and no computer, just doing what I like for a day or maybe two.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Stress Management - The Power of the Word "NO"

Thank you ~m. It is nice to have confirmation that you have seen this trend as well.

I do believe that there is a potential generational difference in how one uses and interprets the word 'no', but there is also some learned behaviours that influence how one feels about the word 'no'. Two children in the same family, brought up with the same rules, parental love and consistently demonstrated behaviors can still result in one child becoming comfortable with hearing 'no' while the other is comfortable hearing 'no'.

Like you, I have no problem hearing 'no' as I've been hearing it in every facet of my life for as long as I can remember. My sister can say 'no' without a second thought, but she has a major problem with hearing the word 'no'.

I can understand how being unable to cope with people's constant requests and demands would lead to social isolation. While you are correct in your conclusion that you were avoiding people and stimuli that would cause you considerable anxiety in saying 'no' please don't forget that you started the behaviour as a coping mechanism (if I'm not around then nobody will ask me for anything and I won't have to say 'no').

It will take work to learn how to effectively use the word 'no'. Apparently learning how to say 'no' can be accomplished. I just haven't figured that one out yet!

Eeyore

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

What we know about stress at work

I have no stress at work, but then again perhaps I'm in my favourite state of de-Nile. LOL

Working in any industry can provide stress, but working in an office where office politics run rampant can make people feel like they're on the edge and almost incapable of hanging on. Coping techniques kick in at this stage - eating too much, consuming too much caffeine and even working extra hours to fit everything in. In the meantime the body and mind begin to break down as there is no longer enough resources to power the body. Pain, anxiety and depression levels rise. I know this from personal experience.

Stress at work has been a huge factor in my jobs and it has had far reaching impacts. I too have experienced way too many office politics and have become too wrapped up in solving all the problems of the world at work. This takes way too much energy and commitment to sustain without breaking. For me the depression and anxiety levels rose rapidly and the impact to my wellness was definitely noted.

After four years of being in a situation where I have faced many challenges I have learned that I am capable of meeting the needs of my clients when under stress (including tight deadlines), but find myself ready to jump off the edge of my chair. On the other hand, when the work stressors reduce I can accomplish sometimes up to four times more work.

Work stress has caused major issues with my health and wellness. Despite incredible stress of doing three people's job on top of my own, I have managed to hang on. This comes at the expense of my own health (working overtime hours and working through breaks) and leads to an immune system that doesn't have enough energy to fight off viruses and colds. The body no longer heals well or quickly, and I have experienced both weight gains and losses as a result.

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