Thank you so much Ashley . I resonated with it all . I have to learn and apply all those to my life and exactly what I meant for myself. I really enjoyed that read thank you so much for sharing it .
Thank you Lynn , you are so right and it makes total sense . I will be practising and i think i am going to write down all the reasons i feel i should not drink(there are many ) to help me also .
Thank you Hors and its not harsh at all! I will be after this thanks giving not visiting either until Christmas or even next spring. This will totally give me time to build the strength . and like i said when i am home i have no problem not drinking but mind you i do replace taht with junk food( i know sounds silly but true )
I can sit here and write how bad I feel as I am hung over but I am taking this as a positive. I proved to myself again that I cannot drink. I just cant . I tried the moderation I just don't know how or just cant . and if I do I have to try really hard and that should not be an issue . so . I have decided that I wont have a drink at all . I know I said it before and that's cool but I am saying it now . I am not drinking a drop. alcohol is not for me and it has been proven in more ways than one and I am ok with that . I know it will be hard to be around others drinking but believe I CAN do that ! I will probably be posting here alot to keep myself accountable and hit up an AA meeting f2f as well as online . all things I am ok with . anyhow hope everyone had a safe and good new year eve.
Lynn it is so true in regards to quality ! I also started to notice that when i do drink i tend to wake up in the middle of the night and cannot sleep was horrible, last night was a better night . one day at a time .
Hors i love how you said that accept the fact it takes a week . you know it will take time but you accept it and will get through it!
it has been a while , how is everyone doing? me myself I am doing well but I drank, yesterday , was almost two months . its funny , I feel so angry at myself .why do I love something I hate ? doesn't really make sense . I hate drinking because of the person I become, because of the ways act , and for the shame , and over and all those feelings physical and emotional that come. I do sooo well , almost two months I think nada and them boom! I self destruct. something I tend to do and have done so much in the past. ugh anyone that can relate or at least have suggestions ? hope everyone is doing well. I like coming here so much support and understanding .
so I'm sure its noticeable I drink, feel guilt shame, embarrassment and swear I'm done. over and over again . I am going to try to break the cycle . the first step is to talk to my family , let them know when I come up I am not drinking , I dont want to for am my reasons and that I wont be so not to ask me to have one . I know I have said it before but I am so sick and tired of feeling like this the next day . yesterday I was so sick I Vomited . I never vomit when hung over that show much I drank . the shame today is rough but hey its also teaching me and showing me . so today I will me making that call . and I actually feel good about it I am not scared at all.
Hi Lynn, been here before and have had some of your amazing insight . love this post great for us who feel alone in the struggle I guess . thanks for the welcome
UPDATE: I called the family, I let them know I will no longer be drinking , and its real , and I dont want to be pressured and would love support and they understand and are supporting me . so I feel like a weiht is lifted off my back.
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