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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I am alcoholic

I have known it for a while and I have accepted it 3 years ago. I did stop drinking for 3 months in the past without help. It has been easy so I decided to get help and try to control alcohol.

Is it possible to control what we drink while we are alcoholic?

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

Foolishly Destructive

Hi Lyma!

I am like you. And I think according to your question to Dave848 that you might go through the same questions. I stay in France. I am a nurse. Doctors think there is only one treatment basicly for us alcoholics : NO ALCOHOL at all.

I know deeply that I am alcoholic. When I start drinking I will never feel I had enough. Eventually I will drink until I am knocked out. However most of the time I can't remember half of the party.

But still my friends say I am funny. People around me think "Oh this guy is a lot of fun!".

So I have hard time to define my goal: Moderate or complete avoidance of alcohol?

I have stopped drinking for 3 months in the past . Without goal. Just to see how it feels. It has been actually quiet easy. B I would love to be able to drink moderately. As soon as I have a drink frustration will come if there is not ten to follow.

I am back to complete avoidance. And my mind is so busy dealing with

"Will you not get bored?

Are you gonna loose some friends?

I will never enjoy again sharing wine with friend with a sea view and nice food!

That is a decision you make for the rest of your life...

If you start saying you quit . You cannot fail. You will be ridiculous. "

That's the kind of things I think about. To make my mind rest I do quiet a lot of sport and try to not isolate myself like I did the previous time. Hard change but it is needed. My body tells me. I want a higher level of happiness. A healthy mind in a healthy body.

Thanks for reading my crapy english!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I am alcoholic

It does Dave!

And I do thank you for your reply. The way to say "I am an alcoholic" is dry because I made this statement a while ago. Actually I am known for being someone very good at cooking, gathering, hosting people and "enjoy life" (in people mind). There is hardly one picture of me on my facebook where I am not with a glass of wine!

I was thinking before "well you drink too much but thanks God you never affect your work by drinking and you don't drink too much by working a lot!"

things changed three years ago when I broke up with my boyfriend. Instead of going out with others to drink I was staying at home to drink. I reached the point that the only energy I had on my days off was just enough to take the dog out and buy wine.

How ridiculous: I was drinking to feel better! I was poisoning myself and one day I realized that it could end up very badly. I had enough to be so depressed. It was not me. I had lost all my energy, my social skills, my ambitions.

I have stopped. Within 3 months I was back to life. I never want to go through this kind of fog again.

One day at work (I am a nurse!!!) we had champagne for a special event. I had some and while I was expecting a firework in my mind and my body nothing happened.

Slowly but surely I went back to alcohol.

I have been watching me compare to the others during parties when we drink. While my friends are having their glasses quietly I will just neck mine without even realizing I had 3 while they were still drinking their first one.

During a party I am always thinking "Sh...! We might be short". So I will always reorder bottles. I share it with everyone but the real purpose is I don't wanna miss wine.

If I travel somewhere, in a muslim country for example. I am gonna be obsessed by "where are we gonna be able to get drinks".

Well one of my very good friend told me once. "I do appreciate a good wine but I never have to think about

-What's your daily amount of drinks

-Is there any alcohol at the cafe where we are about to go

-We need to find someone to take us there because of course we won't be able to drive back if there is alcohol"

She is not alcoholic. I am.

I cut down a lot. I am a quiet happy single man! I have a GREAT psychotherapist. She asked me to set goals, and it is hard for me to think you will never drink again. One of our best social and relaxing moment in France is called 'Aperitif'. Basically from 6 to 8 - 9 pm if someone is passing by your place you do have to propose wine and appetizers. And when a group is on holiday (coming soon ... ... ...) that is when everyone is gonna melt and tell what we have done... I will miss that. And being a binch drinker (it became really less than it was) I will also miss being high.

I have heard someone I know (but we are not closed), "no thanks I have stopped drinking and since I feel 1 meter above the ground!". I do hope and dream I will say it one day. For now probably because I am hardly setting my goals, My thoughts are a lot about 'drinking or not drinking'.

I might go back to AA meetings ... it will remind me "ONE DAY AT A TIME".

Thank you in advance for reading me... I am sure it can be very boring!

Best Regards

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

Foolishly Destructive

Lyma WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO THIS!

Alcohol gives us confidence while we are dating or while we are in public. See how we end up... WE WILL BE ABLE TO DO THIS!

We are smart enough to be here chatting and to tell about ourself so WE WILL BE ABLE !

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

New to the site

I have been in the past to AA meetings. Not easy but to me it was impossible to go there and drink so I was sober. I mean it was efficient for me. And my opinion is very positive about AA. My aunt is the first people I called when I decided to stop drinking the first time. She has been sober for 25 years now and is very proactive in AA organization.

I am now doing a therapy. I met three before meeting the right one. With her I am doing a great job. It came naturally in my mind that I had to handle my problems with alcohol.

I spoke to her yesterday and I have changed my goal today from cut down to stop completely. Last months I have been trying to cut down and I did improve. I have stopped drinking alone. But because my BIG problem is binch drinking while partying I have finally decided to stop. I am unable to control my drinks while I am tipsy. My thirst is endless. And trying to control my drinks while I was out was mostly obsessions and frustrations. I failed many times so afterwards I was feeling guilty... A lot of negative feelings for a few hours of artificial fun.

I plan to go back to AA meetings. While I was attending a meeting one and a half year ago a nice member told me that I should try different groups. The idea was "you might feel more comfortable in another group do not hesitate to try a few".

I think that's what I am gonna do. This website is fantastic but to meet in real other alcoholics allow you to identify yourself to someone else better (to me!). I think the location musts be convenient. Particularly when we have heavy schedules. I work night shift. Most of the meetings are at night time in Paris. But still to stop drinking is my priority and AA is a big opportunity to succeed. So as soon as I will feel confident enough I will go back and try to find a group with who I will be comfortable.

Regards to all of you. Thanks to Alcohol Help Center and to all of you to.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I am alcoholic

Dear Foxman,

Here in France the AA approach is slightly different...

I have been told that I shouldn't rush to find a sponsor while I was willing to have one soon. Just because I am more comfortable with dual relations than express myself in front of a group. (when it is about alcohol)

Also other members told me "when you begin do not bother yourself with the books. it will come later..."

There is english speakers groups here so maybe there way is more like what you know.

Thank you very much for your attention and advise. I was planning to get the book.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

15 days and heart break

It is so sad... I am very sorry to hear that. Being a nurse in my daily practice I can see that 'tomorrow is never promise'.

And the way you react is impressing me. While you are going through a dramatic emotional event you choosed to increase your chances to get a quality and healthy life. Not easy.

Again I am impressed and sad for your Dad.

Regards

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

Foolishly Destructive

Dear Lyma,

I am wandering when I read your words if I am not the one who wrote it!! It is amazingly familiar. I think that by stopping to drink we will both give us the chance to reach a high level of health, spirituality and philosophy about life.

I have a great therapist and she helps me. Maybe one day we will just be smiling when we will be thinking about the parties we had weekly or few times a week. Don't you get bored of it? I do. I have partied so much that it is not necessary funny anymore but one thing is alcohol is always part of it. No more. I don't want hangovers anymore. I don't want to feel guilty anymore while everyone around is thinks my life is just fun.

I do feel closed to each word you write... So keep writing! (-;

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I am alcoholic

Thanks! I am gonna check!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I am alcoholic

Hi Ashley!

First thank you for your amazing work. I wish we had the same website here in France. Well I am happy with your!

I have decided to not drink at all. In the past I have stopped for 3 months. It has been quiet easy. However with a busy work schedule I have always been quiet often for 8 days without drinking. My main problem is I never feel when it is time to stop. A lot of my friends are heavy drinkers but I have heard most of them saying "Well enough for today let's go to bed". I never thought like this.

My way of drinking:

Here we start drinking by 7 pm. Wine while we are eating a few things. It is very social but i could have a full bottle of wine and still be fine. Then we have diner table. Let say we are two at the restaurant we will share a bottle of wine. And 90% of the time then I do feel like I need more drinks. So I was used to keep drinking wine in bars. Once I was in a night club let say after 1 am. It was endless. Very often even if I was doing better those last months I could not remember how I got home.

On top of that going at a terrace after 12 am to me there was no way to order anything else but wine. Also it was a way to give me confidence outside my home. A way to get pleasure while I had nice meals. A way to get high because sometimes I did want to get drunk. A remedy again anxiety even.

Since november I see a great psychologist. I have went to her in a first place because of alcohol. I have known my relation with alcohol was addictive for years. Being 35 I think a lot about mental and physical consequences. Actually I want to go over the step of being dependent of alcohol because I feel like alcohol does not give me a chance to progress mentally spiritually professionally and physically.

I don't know exactly why but I feel it is time for me to tend to be "healthy spirit in a healthy body". Alcohol was so much in my habits that I just realize now that you can keep your good friends and make yourself very busy without alcohol.

I am happy day after day to manage to not drink. Since 20th of June not one day feeling guilty because I have wasted money and time drinking. No fog. No hangover. No sadness.

To answer your question, I am very afraid to drink just a sip and slowly go back to binge drinking. Like I did in the past. Being completely sober I am let say "on the safe side" at least "on my safe side".

Thanks for reading me!!

Evolution Health is not a healthcare provider and does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are currently thinking about or planning to harm yourself or someone else please call 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room.

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