Hi Jacks, thanks for the encouragement and good thoughts. You sound good. Journaling is a good idea, but not for me at this time I don't think. I have journaled for years, but sometimes I get sick of hearing from me and only me, going around and around in circles. Coming to this site has been like getting fresh air... I'm being challenged to think, be aware, and change my thought processes and behaviors. I want to be held accountable. Ultimately, of course, I have to do it for myself... but right now I need someone outside to help me change direction. I need the feedback.