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I need support from others who understand :(

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I need support from others who understand :(

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 53

Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say but I think this support will help me

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 13

Hi Choosing!

That last thing you said really got to me «Especially if you hear my hubby...» I't made me sad, because some people dont know how there lack of support can hurt us. At the same time, i can understand that even us can feel like them. We try over and over again, just to realise that we didnt do much. But All of this can change if we take actions for us. Even i was starting to let go of my idea of cuting back and stop drinking, but i realised that i was doing it for myself, and if i have to do it several time, the one time it will work, i will have myself( and this group )to thank and to look up to, and i will be proud of me for doing it.

Believe in yourself!!

SunnyM

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 53

Wow DreamR;

I've read this series and am surprised how much you sound like me - health professional, female from canada, some trauma trying to work it out. I hope you're doing well. I'm just starting on this journey (again) The online support is new but the trying to be sober is old news (especially if you hear my hubby)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 53

I relate!!! I'm scared to post too much and "open the floodgates"

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hi Runner

Thanks for taking the time, as I said to another one of (our) friends "time" is the only currency in life that matters!!! I have spent so much time looking back only to try to move forward. I do not live in the past but I do know how much it has made me who I am, I do try to draw from the strength of being a "trauma survivor" as my psychologist phrases it and figure what doesn't kill me will make me stronger!! I guess that is why this "disease" scares me so much, I am hurting myself physically as well as emotionally.

I think the ironic part is so many people have described me as "strong" and "independant" when only the people I am closest to know how broken I feel on daily basis. I hide it well while I strive to be what others see in me. I am in dentistry and if my patients knew how forced my smile is some days I think they would be in shock. Perhaps we are all like that in some way but I truly envy people who don't seem to feel the need to make themselves numb on a regular basis.

I believe all the pain from my past causes me to be more sensitive than most, what would just roll off someone else will hurt me to the core which is something I have come to know about myself. I have told my therapist " I just want to go one day without pain" unfortunately the only way I have found to "get away" with that is to go numb. Of course like everyone of

"our" friends we all know how well that works.

I will continue to try to move forward, one day at a time and I can tell that you have done this and I congratulate you! As I said you taking the time to write a complete stranger has meant more to me than you know. I can understand how helpful this site can be ( and you thought you wrote long responses......lol )

Thanks again Runner :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Congratulations DreamR ... it's a great start! Have you started using your diary and toolbox yet?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hey m

Thanks for the reply and of course no worries, no hurry we all have commitments with the only currency that really matters in life....our time !!! I always appreciate anyone taking the time to be there for me !!

PS Resisted a glass of wine I REALLY wanted a dinner....it was small but a start :)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 56

Hey there Dream Reality - How are you today?

I've been reading and comprehending your posts and replies from (our) friends and seem I want to add something. First, I'd like to say that you sound very level headed and caring, which are both wonderful as you start this journey. Second, in reading and re-reading everything I think you have to do what I suggested to another AHC member; get yourself ready to do something strong and courageous for yourself, your daughter, family, and friends - turn your vision away from the past 180 degrees and take that first tiny step forward and don't look back. Understanding the past has been troubling is very important - but focusing on it will take away the energy you need to be strong - and believe me, you'll need every ounce of energy and strength to take these steps - BUT Dream Reality - it will be sooooo worth it.

I myself have found this site to be life-changing in a very positive way. Jump in, let yourself feel freedom to post and express things that are deep inside you - that you felt you could never tell anyone - but you CAN here, because we a.) don't know who you are and b.) will reply honestly and openly, and c.) will be your "sounding board" to help keep you in the right direction.

Start also doing two things I have found to be immensely positive in my cutting out 85% of my consumption in the first month; start a blog/thread on your profile page, and go back a few weeks if you can and honestly post you consumption in the "My Diary" section. Having to be accountable to yourself everyday, and logging in the drinks - helps you see in black-and-white what you're doing. I actually printed the graph and have it on my desk so it keeps me working hard to accomplish my goal.

Sorry, got rambling as I have a tendency to do.

I will end the way everyone here is probably tired of reading from me:

Dream Reality - trust in yourself, BELIVE in yourself, and success will find you ...... it can happen, have faith.

Your friend,

runner

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Oh Shoot... I have gotten away without doing an introduction of myself up to this point. Every time I try doing one I end up deleting it. I try to stay hidden... Ok, well that's silly when I post as much as I do. Anyway, your asking gives me the incentive to try again to mush my story into one or two paragraphs. Right now I've got to go

But will try later this afternoon. Have a good day!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Hi m

Thanks so much for your quick reply, I certainly appreciate your support and the warmth of your personality certainly comes through in your message.

You made me feel better when you told me about your daughter, my daughter so far does not seem to be much of a drinker and I am greatful for that. I would never forgive myself if I pass this legacy down to her.

I know that everyone has a story do you mind me asking a bit more of yours? You seem further ahead in this journey than I do and some inspiration would be encouraging.

Thanks again for caring, you certainly have helped me more than you know :)

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I need support from others who understand :(