A week ago today I woke up in the morning and thought "I really don't want to do this. Do I have to?" And then I reminded myself that I had to do it sometime. And what followed was an absolutely excruciating day of wanting to throttle everyone I encountered, but somehow, I made it to bedtime.
Even though I still don't feel back to normal -- whatever that is -- the way I felt this morning compared to that morning a week ago is so much better! The first few days I couldn't stop the thought of my first cigarette from popping into my mind, but this morning all I was thinking about was my new routine, which is making really good fresh-ground French press coffee. (Put Saigon cinnamon in your grounds! You won't regret it!) And about how badly my legs are hurting from running a mile up the hill I live on Monday and then doing power yoga for an hour and a half last night.
The hardest times for me now are the afternoons. They're like this doldrums in the day where things I don't want to think about can pop up willy nilly. I wake up and power through whatever work I have to do (it takes a lot less time now that I'm not smoking in between tasks to reward myself), and by 4 or 5 I'll start thinking about what I'm going to make for dinner, but from 2 to 4 there's just this low time where I've finished the bulk of my work but don't have anything else to do.
But it's happened enough times in a row now that I know it will pass. By the time I am ready to start prepping dinner, I've usually forgotten all about it. Today I plan to spend the low time at the laundromat, so hopefully having a task to do will help.
Thanks to everyone for the things you have written here, both to me and in older discussions. I've read a lot of them and they have been really helpful to me. I'm so proud of myself for getting to my eighth day smoke-free!
. The first week is the hardest now it's mostly a matter of getting used to a new routine and your doing great with that..
