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How do I handle the hubby?

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How do I handle the hubby?

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1521

my2girls, Stay positive for your husband. Continue encouraging him, help decrease any stress he may feel with quitting. Help with his coping mechanisms, if you sense he's having a tough time, take initiative - ask him to take a walk, hike etc. Let him come to you with his worries/fears etc. Don't push him to 'open up', let him come in his own time. Hope this helps, Melanie _____________________ The SSC Support Team

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 537

My wife is thinking about quitting as well. She won't come here to post or to read. For her, it'll be self-motivation and support from me when she's ready. Ron [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 18 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 653 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $121.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 24 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 852

Hello all. I was just wondering how can I give my hubby the support he needs... I mean, this has been a rather calm ride for me. But my hubby is still struggling with his quit. It's hard for me to talk to him becuz we are on different pages. I told him that something in me "clicked" and I know that I never want to smoke again. He kinda got upset and said some nasty remark. I also told him, yes, I do get craves. I try my best to get through them. So far, so good. I'm so afraid that he will slip. I dont know how I could be around a walking ashtray. The smell REALLY grosses me out. I wish he would come to this site, but he wont. He's not much of a talker either. He told me I was one of "those" quitters. You know, the one's who preach of not smoking. I told him I dont care -- the world would be better off without smoking, and they need to make it harder for people to smoke....... etc......... :( He gets mad at me and shuts me out when we talk about not smoking. We are on such different pages. It's really hard for me to watch him struggle. I know him. I know how he is. He will slip. I don't want to watch him go back. What can I do to help him? What can I say to be supportive, instead of a nag? How can I be supportive to a negative thinker? How can I get him to see the light? I want us to grow old together -- not smoking of course. ;) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 765 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $81.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 852

Thank you all for your insight. I forgot...... ;) My quit is mine. And his is his. I will be here if he comes to me. I guess dropping little helpful hints won't hurt. If I could only reach over his shoulder and knock that little Nicodemon on his a**, then kick him and strangle him, and kick him some more, and make him get up and face me................. Okay, I'm back. Just got caught up in the moment. ;) Anyways, thank you all for your support and advice. It really does help! I am the positive thinker. Always looking for good.............. :) **** 4my2girls **** p.s.- Chicken - you crack me up. Thank you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 795 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $85.02 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 10 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 415

OMG I totally missed the who section on this site....please disregard that question! LOL!!

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 415

Hey there! Sorry that things are rough on your hubby! My husband is like 30 days behind me. He sometimes can be such a jerk and I know I wasn't the nicest person on my first 30 days so I try to understand. Sometimes I end up being an ass right back because I just can't seem to deal any longer but I feel bad afterwards. We are both rather touchy at times and have bumped heads alot lately!! He is doing really well and I don't think he will slip and if he really was needing support I would be there!! I feel I am stonger in my quit right now but I am 30 days further along. You can be as supportive as possible but don't let it discourage you. If you stay strong through it all maybe it will give him strength and a more positive outlook on the quitting thing. Like they say, actions speak louder then words so maybe your positive attitude will rub off!!! Has he been on here? You can only do so much for him, he has to chose to remain quit on his own. It's hard to stand by and watch someone you love struggle but it's kinda his journey...you may be on the same journey but obviously it is on two different paths to the same destination! That wake up moment rocks don't it? Sometimes I wonder why it happens to some and not to others. Some stuggle with there quits while others have rough patches but do quite well. Just be there for him all that you can and like penquin said, don't let his success or failure effect your quit!!! BE STRONG GIRL! The Chicken [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 46 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 466 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $172.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 205

If he won't come here (sad) buy Allen Carr's book and see if that will help. It really should. Good luck but, as was stated before do not get caught up in his quit. You have your own to deal with. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 57 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,730 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $307.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 941

My wife has never smoked. I have tried to quit many times and always failed. This time I wont. One of the things she said to me that really stuck in my mind... "You're a tough guy, but are you tough enough to quit?" Yes I am. Yes I am. I am that tough. Guys like to be rugged and tough - tell your hubby he's tough enough! Good luck.

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18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1306

There is hope, you know. My husband actually picked up Allan Carr's book last night and started reading it. Keeping my fingers crossed that he will come along on this journey. It's a choice! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/28/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 134 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $57.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

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$330,466.88

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Days: 6028 Hours: 0

Minutes: 6 Seconds: 19

Life Gained
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45425

Smoke Free Days
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681,375

Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1306

WARNING. Getting caught up in his quit will not be good for yours. I have been riding the "husband smokes while I quit" rollercoaster and it ended up being my excuse for a slip on the weekend, as much as I said I would never let it be my excuse - but that's my story and I'm sticking with it. See my post "Supportive husband - not on this section (I think). There is some good info on how you should be thinking about this. Everyone has to quit in there own good time and the way that is best for them. My husband will not come on this site, it's not his style. He's not ready, and I have to live with that. I think it might be best to just leave him alone for awhile. He'll see the light - hopefully. It's a choice [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/28/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 63 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $23 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36

Quit Meter

$330,466.88

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 6028 Hours: 0

Minutes: 6 Seconds: 19

Life Gained
Quit Meter

45425

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

681,375

Cigarettes Not Smoked

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How do I handle the hubby?