Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Fibre

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-06 9:05 PM

Healthy Weight Community

logo

Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.750 posts in 47.055 threads.

160,542 Members

Please welcome our newest members: MBERNICE ASTRID, SLOVELY MAE, BXAMUELLE CHRISTIEN, Heinz57, eggmegrolf

Dad's and Daughters


14 years ago 0 217 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I can relate to this on so many levels DJ,
 
I also have kids and the past few years I feel like i've been somewhat out of the loop. I've been quite busy with work and also disconnected mentally from anything that was going on with my family. I've recently just snapped out of things and realized how hard this must have been on my wife, because she was basically doing this alone. So I sat down with her and told her everything about how i felt and how I'm back, her husband is back and I also did a few special things for her! And now i think it's time that I have this same "Talk" with my kids. Their daddy is back and he's not going anywhere! Thank goodness for this site, it really has shed a new BRIGHT light on my life.
 
Strength
 
 
14 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
AWESOME DJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Do it again!
14 years ago 0 11215 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
That's great DJ!   How did that hug come about?
 
Have you tried any of the tips that have been suggested by myself and Goofy?
 
You will have to keep us up to date on this!
Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 82 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Both my girls got a hug from me yesterday at was great!
14 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
DJ
I like what Ashley said.  I wish my dad had been more like that.  He seemed only to know how to relate if he were making fun of something or disapproving.  Let every comment that comes out of your mouth be positive.  When my son misbehaved, I made he knew it was the behavior I didn't like and not him.  He was unique and beautiful (to steal Ashley's terms).  But I didn't have to like what he did.  Also, after the conversation and subsequent punishment depending on the misbehavior, it was a dead subject. I demanded respect from my son, but I gave it to HIM first.  If I didn't, how could he learn to respect others.
Just some other thoughts and my opinions.  If you haven't guessed DJ, I'm full of it - lol - opinions.
14 years ago 0 11215 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi DJ,
 
It is common for many fathers to have difficulty relating to their teenage daughters.  It can certainly be tough and in a lot of ways all you can do is be there for her and let her know you care. 
 
Not to mention the hormonal changes; teenage girls have lots of influences and pressures that make growing up tough.  These pressures may be hard for you to understand but don't feel discouraged.  Try to make time every week for you to spend time with her.  Is there something you both enjoy?  It doesn't have to be a formal set date but some daddy time is always good.  When with her you do not have to give advice.  If you feel very strongly about something by all means but sometimes just listening is the best way to support someone.  Ask questions, lots of questions.  You would be surprised how resilient humans are, many times they have the answers within themselves.  Avoid why questions as this implies blame.
 
Self esteem is a huge factor in a young teenage girls life. It is important that your little girl feels loved and supported by you.  Be sure that you compliment her and encourage her when you can. Avoid comparison of any kind whether it be to friends, siblings, the past, etc.  Also, try to compliment her strengths in talents and and interests and not weight or beauty. Be careful of what you are encouraging. You want a little girl to place her identity in what she does and not what she looks like. Also, be sure the compliments are genuine and not forced.  Recognize you daughter for the unique and beautiful person she is.
 
DJ what does being a dad mean to you?
 
Members, any suggestions?
 

 


Ashley, Health Educator
14 years ago 0 82 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Im alwas getting up set with my daughters its like as soon as I see them I say somthing negative,I love them very much and just want to give them a hug but I cant! I only seem to see the wronge things they do never the good! How do you hug a 16 year old who seems to always be angry and dosent want to be touched?What can I do to be a better Dad and stop being so negative towards them? When my wife who seems to have a great relationship with them sits down abd starts to talk to them I tend to make my way to a diffrent room they dont want my advice its always wronge! I would like to be the kind of dad who they see and come up to and give a big hug! It


Reading this thread: