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Should I rekindle an old friendship?

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Should I rekindle an old friendship?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

Hi Walliflower.

I have been out of the forum for a few weeks contenplating a bunch of things.

Your question just jumped at me. As a young teen I used to hurt myself, not cutting mostly bruising. It was easier to hide and the pain could be easier activated during the day with a touch... I think It was a way to physically manifest the pains that were all emotional and I had no was of explaining nor of expressing... maybe?

In a lot of ways you never really lost contact. You had these people in common that would have told you anything you needed or wanted to know. You seem to know that she is on Facebook. I, as a 37 yr old, have no idea if my old-friend are techologically-challenged like me or are up to date...

. The idea is that you have several open doors to this person despite the last words you exchanged.

I am glad you have started exchanging information with your old friend. And how are the two of you?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey walliflower,

That is great. I am happy this turned out well for you! Keep us posted!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

This is great news walliflower! So great to hear that you were able to reconnect with a good friend

Please keep us posted on how you are doing,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Turns out she missed me too! She hadn't gotten in contact with me because she didn't want to overstep her bounds. We've started up a dialouge, emailing each other back and forth. I think I made the right decision. Thanks for the encouraging words guys, I wouldn't have been able to reach out to her without your perspective.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

You are welcome! Keep us posted!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thanks for your input guys! I think I am going to try shooting her a brief message, just to see what she's up to...and I guess we'll go from there. I'll let you know how it goes!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Walli,

Your heart is in the right place, but I think you have answered your own question and have already made your choice. You are older and wiser now and this was a meaningful relationship for both of you. You have moved on and progressed, this may or may not be the case with your friend. You did what was best for you and perhaps your friend has also done this.

Indirect contact or dropping a line just to say hi can be managed and may be what you are looking for. Try not to take on too much, you are confident in yourself and this happened when you were younger, stay strong in knowing that you helped her as much as you could.

Your truly have a great heart

Josie, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hello Walliflower,

Wow this is a tough one. I understand missing a friend and wanting more contact with them. but if this friend is still doing badly, dealing with her might be a lot to handle for you.

Personally, I must admit having other friends with mental illness but they are all people who try, like me, really hard to get better and have better lives. I am not sure I could be friends with people who are letting themselves sink with the ship. I think it would be too hard on me to watch and feel helpless. But that is just me.

I guess it all boils down to how she is doing, what you think you can handle and how much you miss her in your life!

Sorry, I know my post is not very helpful. One way or another, whatever you decide we will all be here for you!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Background: Amy and I were best friends from the time we were 9 until about 15. We went through a lot together, especially as pre-teens, with me struggling with depression and her with bi-polar. We were both cutters (funny coincidence there, eh?). She had a lot of problems with her family, and one summer she was staying with me for awhile. She was having a paricularly rough time, and I was doing my best to help her out. I was doing really well, and had almost completely stopped cutting, while she was probably at her worst. At one point doing her visit she wanted, even tried, to hurt herself in my presence. She got angry with me when I wouldn't let her. Maybe a week or so later (she wasn't staying with my family anymore) we got in a huge argument, which can basically be summed up by me accusing her of not participating in her therapy, and her calling me a bad and unsupportive friend. I realize that what I said may have been a little harsh, but my point of view was that if she wanted to get better badly enough, she could, since that's what I did. It also upset me a lot when she thought was being a bad friend for refusing to watch her hurt herself. We haven't spoken much since then...we saw each other a couple of times, but things never really clicked again.

Now, 4 years later, I still think about her often. I wonder how she is doing and what she's up to. If I wanted to get in contact with her it would be easy, via Facebook and through mutual friends we still have. As much as I would like to invite her back into my life I don't know if it would be a good idea. If she is still the way she was then I wouldn't be able to deal with her, and I would hate to say "Hey, let's be friends again...wait, nevermind, dealing with you is way too hard on me." What should I do? Should I drop her a line and let her know I still care about her? Should I try and rekindle our friendship? Or would it be healthiest to just let things be?

Thanks for your thoughts guys!

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Should I rekindle an old friendship?