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Trying to support each other......

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Rosie,

I am sorry to hear that you and your husband are going through a rough time. We're here for you, to help, support and encourage you in whatever you need. Have you begun to read through the program? Please take the time to do so, and to explore the tools and resources that are available through this site. You may also want to suggest that your husband visit our sister site, the Panic Center, at www.pancicenter.net.

Members, have you and your partner ever experienced something similar to what Rosie is going through?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hi rosie,
were you depressed prior to 5 months ago? if so, deal with that first and it sure isn't selfish. did you just become depressed because of your husband's infidelity? if so, you will probably get the most support from going together to a marriage counselor. you can't solve each other's problems, only your own. sounds like he's having panic disorders because he feels guilty? or does he have an anxiety disorder or even addictions that you may not be aware of. are you angry about this? this is something you need to talk about for sure or it will end up burning a hole in you. also, you are supporting him in a big way! you must really love him - hope he deserves you

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Rosie,

I'm sorry to hear about your problems. Things have a way of spiraling out of control and it's admirable that you two are trying to support each other. Most people would just decide to throw in the towel.

I take it that you both have been going through some tough times for a while. Is there someone who can help as a third party? Clergy, couples counseling, supportive friends? It may be very helpful to have someone who is not directly involved but aware of the situation to mediate and offer unbiased opinions and advice. You both can see how you got to this place but may not be able to explain it to the other. (I wish my husband would consider this, but when you are not wrong you don't need a counselor.)

The fact that you are trying to support each other even though you lack strength is hopeful but you probably do need help to give the strength part to the equation. Don't feel selfish either, there is no way the two of you can move forward without first taking care of yourself. (Maybe that's where my husband is with things and I can't hear it because I have so many of my own things to clear up, gee I hope that's it) Regardless, you each may have to spend some time clearing up your personal issues before you can adequately attempt working on your relationship. That's a form of support, in that once you are in a place of strength you can be more supportive, but if you are weary you can only survive or sacrifice yourself.

Let us know how you're doing, you are in my thoughts and prayers Rosie.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

I have been really depressed the past 5 months. My husband got up to some mischief with another woman while I was working night shift one evening and admitted this to me a few months ago (which is when I kind of started falling apart). Since then he has been suffering from panic disorder. We sometimes have arguments because we are both in such a bad place. He sometimes feels like he can't deal with my stuff because he is in a panic and I am so depressed I feel like I can't help him. We try to support each other but it is hard. He is seeing a therapist but is talking about going on antidepressants himself. I feel frustrated because I feel I don't have the strength to support him. I am being selfish for once in my life and I feel bad about it. How can we support each other without falling apart ourselves? Any advice or experiences you are willing to share??

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Trying to support each other......