i have had some rough experiences lately that have left me feeling drained. i took the depression test and scored right at the upper edge of moderate-to-severe depression. but all of my high scores related to loss of interest in all activites, loss of energy and enthusiasm and not wanting to get out of bed. but no problem with self image, no self hate, no worthlessness. sure, i have negative thoughts and they are repeating and they are: "i hate everything and everybody." and "black". but right now my negative thoughts are focused outside of me, not inside. and my negative thoughts are triggered by being forced to interact with the world, either by having to get up or having to drive or having to interact with my children. watching TV and sleeping, no problem, everything is cool. i figure my jollies-returned-for-pleasurable-activity switch is stuck and am counting on wellbutrin to inhibit the re-uptake of my feel-goods so i can return to the life that i enjoy. not that i dont have periods of low self-esteem, this just doesnt seem to relate to my current extreme apathy, which, btw, has been going on for over a month now. any thoughts?
