It has been a long hard summer and I'm tired. I'm dropping projects left and right. Karin is little help both because she can't but worse because she is a computer addict. What time she has she spends in front of it. Chronic fatigue is no worse than my Arthritis and yet I still get things done. It is a matter of priority I think. To do something you have to want to. (there are those two words again) That is how I do everything, that is how I got over the panic attacks. So now I have to decide what I want to do on my have to list and that bothers me because there are too many have to's. And have to is negative.
Fall is here and I want to enjoy it before winter sets in. I still have a log sitting on the saw mill, I think it will still be there next spring. Tomorrow I will go drain the water out of the blade cooling tank and drop that project. For now anyway. It is almost the middle of September and leaves are turning yellow fast now. I haven't been this far behind or this stressed about it in a while, it is not a good feeling. Cataract surgery cost me a lot of time I could ill afford to lose but then a person can not go around half blind. In a few hours I have to get up and go to the hospital for a cyst removal. I should be able to salvage part of the day after. There is another negative word. I better watch my thinking, this could get out of hand. No time for set backs.
It has been a hard summer but the freezers are full and I'm proud of my accomplishment. I think for the most part I enjoyed myself too. That is better than some years have been.
The last we heard from the Educators was that they only work on weekends on this site now. Funding was cut back on the all the sites they have here. They have a stop smoking site in Canada that they attend to daily but that is the only one and you have to be a citizen of Canada to join it..
I was surprised to see Ashley here during the week so who knows maybe things have changed or may be she was here on her own time..She is a very caring and generous person and loves what she does..She is a real jewel. We are so lucky to have her..I wish she could be here more.
As for the email addresses. I am not sure if she is giving out addresses anymore. This is the only site that I have been to where they have ever done that. Most want to keep their forums comfortable and safe for all so it is not allowed..
Heavy black clouds and windy, snowing on the tops of the mountains. A very good night to be inside and warm. A good distraction, rain on the window would be a better one. I like that sound.
Just took bread out of the oven. I love that smell. Lots of positives to go to sleep with, no negatives. Should sleep good despite being sore with a flare.
Compromise to me is similar but better than conditions. As if someone would say to me, yes, but, and a condition follows. I'm not good with yes, but. Compromise works out well in most cases.
Yesterday was a very good day. We went fishing and I did catch a fish. But it was hard to get in and out of the boat. In the evening it was dead calm and the fish were jumping just not biting.
At what point though is compromise not compromise.
Today we got a late start and Karin really didn't want to go so we ended up in a restaurant which I hate and she knows. So now I have a headache it is late and I should be glad she doesn't want to go to another restaurant for supper.
Restaurant food is not that good and it all has too much salt for me. So what do I do, when is compromise not compromise. Today was supposed to be a fishing or just rowing the boat day. Karin didn't want to go fishing and I didn't want to sit in the restaurant. The way I see it we shouldn't try to do things together if we don't want to. To hell with compromise.
One of our doctors has left so mine is very busy so I couldn't get an infected cyst removed. Possibly on Friday. I have to admit it bothers me but is only a mild cause for anxiety. Still it is there. I have antibiotics and patience. They help. The infection makes me a bit sick so I'm not getting as much done as I'd like. CBT is helping with this. CBT allows me to accept there is nothing I can do about it.
I watched a very good movie and then cleaned the kitchen so tomorrow if I feel up to it I can get something done. There is still much to do.
So many people have apples here it is hard to give them away. Strawberries bear fruit better if you keep the runners trimmed the first year. Strawberries need a few runners for replacement plants when they start to bear poorly. But not the first year.
I'm going to take the spaghetti sauce out of the slow cooker and make apple butter. I am so glad I am finished beets and carrots. I'm leaving the onions to Karin and will probably start digging potatoes.
Our farmers market goes till the last saturday in september. I don't know about the others, there are four and an indoor one.
Just got a phone call from Tim, he will come pick apples and we will make juice with my press.
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