Very sorry to hear you were hospitalised; but sorry also that you stopped treating yourself. I've come off meds in the past a few times, but I don't end up off for long, because I can't stand it. I appreciate your feeling of being sucked dry. At times I wonder what my life's path should be. Or dream about being non-existant. But I am getting better now, that I've been back on meds for about four months. It has taken that long for the anti-anxiety meds to work, so I'm not as panicky...and afraid to go out. However, the depression is still lingering in lesser quantities. But I just want to say one thing; my father suffered from depression and social anxiety....he tried to kill himself about 6-7 times during his life. He drank the rest of his life away soothing himself with alcohol. And you know what it did to us, his children? We are all a mess now. So I suggest that you get yourself some sort of help if you haven't already, and talk to as many people on this site as you possibly can, and begin to feel like you are not alone and that you can help yourself; if not for you, but at least for your kids and your husband. I you can't do it for yourself, please do it for them. Try again....my father was forced to see a psychiatrist when he slashed his wrists one time, but after a short time visiting the psychiatrist he said the meds didn't work and refused the shame of seeing a psychiatrist...so for that decision, the rest of us had to suffer, along with him. I loved him, but he died alone a drunk. He didn't have any friends or family left to support him. I'm sorry if I have upset you, but I want you to try to get help. Please write out as much of your feelings here as you can; it helps me to do so, and maybe others will have something to say which will help also....Take care....
