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Feeling of being worthless...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Vincenda - that's my whole problem...I have no idea what I am anxious about. How do I figure this out??? I do know that I am anxious about the drive...should I go by myself or take someone along for the drive? The interview, not so much anxious. When I say I don't know what causes my anxiety, I mean that I truley believe that I am healthy...a good driver...I know exactly where I am going for the interview....so why do I have these feelings of "what if"???

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi JBeets,

Great news regarding your job interview!

I hope you are more excited than anxious about this opportunity.

What is it you are anxious about? Is it the interview or the commute to the office?

As many have mentioned previously, don't forget the importance and impact of deep breathing!

Taking time to breath helps in any situation causing anxiety.

If it's the interview...remember to be yourself (you can't go wrong!)

Maybe you could look into the opportunity to car pool to the office?

These are just a few thoughts to start.

Don't be hard on yourself with the 'what ifs..' they are frustrating if you dwell on them.

Focus instead on the progress you've made and try to take it one step at a time.

Thank you for sharing and let us know how the interview goes...

all the best,

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thank you everyone for your words of wisdom. I went to the doctor and he put me on paxil as well as ativan for those instant relief. I am on day two of the Paxil, I take it around 9:30 am. Today about 8:30 am I started feeling kinda funny. I'm assuming this is just the paxil working??? I haven't been brave enough to try the ativan just yet. I also started my first therapy session this week.

The exciting news is that I got a phone call tonight wanting me to interview for an accounting position. However, the office is about a 40 minute drive. Feeling really anxious right now. How can I get through this? I also have to drive my daughter to another town (about 30 minutes away) as well as haul her horse. Feeling anxious about that as well. Any advice????

I have to admit, my doctor made me feel very secure with taking the Paxil. I explained my fears and he reassured me he would never give me anything that would hurt me. I live in a small town, so everyone knows everyone. Little easier to trust I guess. I just want to get through a day without any symptoms. I want to just go...without having thoughts of "what if". UGH, so frustrating.

Thanks again

Jodie

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi jbeets: Welcome to the site.

I agree with m. In the beginning I wouldn't worry about the why's. Right now a feeling of anxiety (for whatever reason) needs to be addressed. What are you going to do about it? We can choose to go screaming out of the room, we can choose to do the deep breathing exs., we

can choose distraction or a combination of both. We can even choose to calm ourselves with tranquillizers though we know they are not good for the long haul. What is your short-term goal? Is it to not have symptoms? What goal/strategy are you going to use for at least 3 wks.? I woild try and remember to take babysteps. One thing at a time, then move onto the next. Sounds like you may be feeling overwhelmed with info. overload. So take one issue at a time and see how you can reduce the uncomfortable feelings for it. Slow and easy. Keep the faith, believe. You are halfway there - you are now knowledgeable about this disorder and you are willing to take the steps necessary to heal yourself. Well done so far, keep praticing and don't give up and keep posting.

Your friend, Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

jbeets....You might find it helpful to jump down to session 10.... the relaxation exercises. You won't be able to make much progress until you can B R E A T H E and give yourself a little break mentally and physically. Then prepare ahead of your visit with your doctor... What are your symptoms? What do you want the doctor's help with... medication, therapy? What can you do differently from the previous 50 million visits, to make this one a success?

Also, be gentle with yourself. You are not the first person to feel like you are not getting it.... when you really are. All this changing your brain work takes time and practice. It does not come naturally. It helps to keep plugging along. I had to read Session one about six times before I decided to just go ahead on to the next lesson. I went through the first half of the program feeling like I was doing it all wrong. Eventually, things started to click and I went back and read through the lessons again and again. Each time, something else clicked into place.

As for why? I believe there are always reasons for our reactions. This stuff doesn't just come from nowhere. Having said that, I find that the need to know why... can hamper your healing. At least in the beginning. Accept that you had an attack and likely will again. Work more on what strategies you can apply to calm yourself... to get yourself re-grounded in a panic situation. The why's will take care of themselves eventually... you will understand. For now... take care of yourself... one minute at a time if that is what it takes.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

I've have started the program and yes, I do see some improvements on my thinking process. I just can't understand why yesterday was such a challenge. Is it triggers, what is the problem? I am so frustrated with this stuff and want a normal life back. I don't remember how to enjoy the day or my children for that matter. I read and read, do the worksheets, practice techniques and really don't move forward. Why all the sudden has this affected me so badly? I've talked with my nieces and they seem to understand the issue. I have another shot to go next weekend for a birthday party. But for now, I'm going to focus on day by day. Is there any easier tips on getting started? I feel like I'm just "NOT GETTING IT". What can I tell my doctor that will be different from the other 50 million visits?

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Jbeets, I am so sorry you are going through all this. Breaks my heart to remember going through similar experiences when my children were young and I didn't know what to do or where to turn. Fortunately, you have found this site and you have taken steps to connect with a pdoc. Like Josie suggested.... get started by taking the test and reading the initial information. A lot of people start to feel better just doing that. People here understand what you are going through and we are not going to tell you to just get over it.... we will tell you that YOU WILL GET BETTER... so many of us have... and it starts by coming here. You are already on the right track. Be kind to yourself... you are worthy of respect and kindness.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

jbeets,

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. Please know that we do know where you are coming from and we can help. The program is an amazing way to gain knowledge, support and tools to help you progress through this.

Take the time to read through the information, take the anxiety test, and get started. It take time, but will help you progress. Take a copy of the test to your physician, it may help better assess the situation for you both.

Post often and let us help you.

Josie, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Yesterday I was to go to my youngest neices graduation party; about an hour away in the middle of nowhere. I have been pumped about going since they invited me a few weeks ago. Since we decided to leave at 3 we decided to lay down and take a nap since it was going to be a long evening. I woke up at 2 and my husband slept in. At 3 he woke up furious because I didn't wake him earlier. He continued to yell how worthless I was and didn't do anything but have pitty party for myself. In turn I just simply told him we didn't need to go. He says, yes we're going because you have been looking forward to this. Long story short, we didn't go. We made it as far as town and I physically broke down. I cried for hours after we returned home. Thinking how worthless I was and how humiliated I am for my children to see me like this. Thoughts of suicide did enter my mind, but I know I could never actually do it. I lost my sister a few years back to pancreatic cancer. She was such a wonderful and happy person. I keep asking why God didn't take me instead of her. She had so much more to give this world than me. Before panic attacks I was an outgoing adventerous person. Since the attacks I'm afraid of my own shaddow. I'm a 40 year old infant basically. Sometimes I can force myself to do things, but sometimes I can't and feel like such a failure. I have an appt w/ a psych this next week and seriously thinking of starting some meds. The last time I tried meds, I just got really tired and I hate feeling tired. I don't know what to do. I have a family to take care of and my girls can not see me like this ever again. HELP???? Everyone I talk to just tells me to relax, trust me if I could I would. They say it's all in my head. If it is then why can't I just get over it?

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