Sounds like you have many things going on in your life. I am sending a hug your way and giving you a thumbs up for quitting smoking. I hope to quit one day myself! You are an inspiration!
Sorry to hear you have so many things to deal with. I like Mom of 3 do suggest you try out the program here. It is worth giving it a try. It is quite helpful. And please keep us posted. Welcome to the forums.
Welcome to our support community. It seems that you have a lot going on, and it must be hard not to have your husband near. Thankfully, I think you have come to the right place. We are here to support, help and encourage you, no matter what. Please take the time to read through the program, and to review the tools and resources that are available to you through this site. I am sure that you will be able follow through with the program, we are here to help you achieve each and every one of your goals. I know you will find that there are many members who have, or who are going through the exact same thing you are.
Stay close, and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Welcome! Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you really have alot on your plate and they would contribute to your depression. It's to your favor that you recognize your issues and feelings. Once you know you have more control over your depression (which is easier said than done, but is still a step in the right direction) I can feel your hurt as I read your words and I understand that many of the things contributing to your depression are extremely painful. Some of your issues I can very closely identify with and those that I don't, I'm sure someone else here does. There are many kind and helpful people here and it's good to know you are not alone.
If I were to give you any advice right now it would be to start your sessions. I know you're not sure you'll stick with it but there are valuable insights on handling your depression and it may be enough to get you active in your life again or guide you to what you need. Please try - for your sake. Changing thought patterns can be very helpful.
As I said I can relate to alot of what you've written. I've been depressed from childhood and can think back to depressive thoughts that I had at age 5 or 6. I'm sure I probably had it sooner but I can identify specific instances of depression at those ages. Most of my abuse was emotional or spiritual, some physical. I've already been divorced once due to abuse. And my baggage has caused problems in my second marriage and I don't want another divorce. I've miscarried two sets of twins, the first set was my first pregnancy. I've never had to deal with military deployment and feel deeply sad that you must. I don't think I'd be very good at it, but perhaps someone else here has some experience to share.
These issues are tough to deal with for anyone but topping them off with MDD makes them almost unbearable. I've never understood why I have this issue and I'm angry that I do. That's part of what keeps me here and trying to battle it. I'm hoping you'll choose to battle it also. Please let me/us know how you're doing, it helps to let it out somewhere, and people do care here.
Well, I have known for a long time that I am severely depressed. I've been depressed for 7 years and have seen a couple counselors and have been on medication since my freshman year. I am now married. My husband is currently deployed and this could be why I'm so depressed. I don't cry hardly and I show no emotion towards hardly anything anymore. I am a very irritable and bitter person. I was abused mentally,emotionally and physically growing up. I know a lot of that has a lot to do with my problem. I've just become so numb.. I don't know if I will ever be my old self again. I don't even remember what ' my old self ' used to be like. It scares me. I am so dependant, because i was babied my whole life and now I'm out in the real world and scared. I am worried about divorce contstantly. I have obsessive thoughts about it and worry my husband will leave me. I don't want to be angry and bitter anymore. I want to have a happy HEALTHY marriage. I want to be happy, but it seems me emotions control me. I don't know what to do and I'm afriad iw ont follow through with this program. I don't follow through with much. though, I have suprised myself some, as I quit smoking in march after 6 years. I did it at the worst time in my life; during this deployment. I also began school again at the beginning of the year. I also lost two babies very early on last year and I think that may also have a lot to do with it. any insight encouragment advice is much appreciated. This seems a little scattered but It's also 7 in the morning i only for 3 hours of sleep. Thanks in advance,
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