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One month!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Thank you, Gus!

I know your name from seeing it in other threads here on the forums, so in fact, you are less of a stranger than you said. :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi Flipflopmom,

Thanks for your kind comments. No the interaction w crypt will not effect me . If I deserved it maybe but in the context of the randomness of it, I'm moving on. Thank you though again. :-)

Wow ! That's great about the 4th. Isn't it different when you are at home in your comfort zone? And I completely get your thought process. I had that happen to me to recently. And you'll find you feel protective of your integrity and get mad at that sneaky alcohol voice (AV). Great job thinking thru it all. It's empowering isn't it? When you kick the AV out of your head.

And isn't sharing this success with others that know exactly what it's like helpful? I truely believe this site saved my life. I think it's so important.

Hang in there!! You are doing great!!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

Flipflopmom,

I have been follow your progress over the last few months. You do not know me at all, but I want to tell you im very happy for you! You are making great progress!

Those situations like the 4th of July party will keep coming up in the future. You can handle the situation same as you did the other day. That thought still comes up for me every now and then, and I just laugh it off. This is the new you! Get used to it!

Take care

Gus

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Addressing "No Drama"

I am not familiar with the phrase, however I do understand what you said in the post. For me too, I had to forgive myself over and over. It is as it is. Can't change the past. What I can is only change the way I react now. Thats why I like Eckhart Tolles work because I could go beyond my mind and let go of the past. And like I shared before my wife was not a fan of AA but slowly slowly she saw the progress in me. We were going to a waterfall past weekend, she was reading "Seven habits of Highly effective teens" to the kids. I commented that it looked like AA principles. She agreed and then out of no where she commented that the kids should give back just like I give back to AA. That is a big shift in her attitude toward AA. What I am trying to say is, we cannot be stuck in guilt and remorse. We got to move on.

Flipflopmom, Thats a great achievement. That comes with increased awareness.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

By the way, I should add about my experience this 4th of July, because it was pretty cool.

My family had a barbecue party here at my home and had a lot of guests. We bought a bunch of beer and a bottle of wine for the guests... It was stressful for me to have wine here at my home.

At one point, when the wine was opened for my guests, I brought the bottle inside to get another wine glass from my cabinet. The thought came to me... "No one will know if I take a few swigs of this!!!" It was such a sick, ugly, sneaky thought, and I was a little ashamed to think it.

I quickly laughed it off, though, and brought the wine out to my guests, and had a sober day! Yay, me!

When the party was over, I sent the wine home with my mother in law. It was her favorite kind.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

No Drama,

Thank you so much for your encouragement! It's nice to come to my thread about one month of sobriety and to read positive comments, encouraging me to stay the course. My first month was so hard, and it seemed to be a very long 4 weeks. I hope that your recent interactions on this site won't keep you from helping others.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Foxman--- With the "remember when" reference I was looking back to a post from last year and Jakelad had shared that in AA when people look back at things they've done or people they've hurt under the influence he mentioned it's called a "remember when". Maybe that's just something his group does. My question was is that a common phrase used throughout the AA fellowship? I like it and I think it accurately describes what we can do to keep things in our mind that we've done in the past to others, while also moving forward. Does that make sense?

Thanks for being so positive. :-)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

FlipflopMom,

That's great!! It is freeing to know that you can have a friendship and not feel like you are tied to booze to be that person's friend. I agree that we make friends with those that are like minded. I used to have a person that I drank with every week! We had a standing appointment. When that ended, I felt free. It was like being let out of a cage.

YES--your kids will notice. Mine have and you'll find yourself closer to them. And really that is a huge reason to either stop drinking or to cut it out when you are in your home or kids are around. I love my relationship with my kids and sometimes feel so sad that I wasted some years in a bad place when I could have gotten myself together and had even more time with them.

I love that you are dealing with challenges and don't find them as aggravating! I am the same way. It's interesting when we drink things become much bigger deals than they really need to be. And I think that's because our nerves are so frayed and so strained from the alcohol that we haven't the room to deal with anything else. Being sober through life gives you the space to have those nerves and your mind challenged and come out on top and with dignity. Hold your head up high FlipflopMom--you're doing awesome!!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Remember that friend I had the wine with last? Well, we had a heart to heart the other day, and I told her that I've quit drinking. For some reason, she was my hardest person to tell. It's odd, because we have only been friends for a few months, but she is my across the street neighbor, and I think we both liked being drinking buddies. I explained to her that my daughter is looking up to me, and that my daughter said I'm totally different now that I've stopped drinking.

My friend of course understood and was very supportive. I just feel like I keep checking the boxes on my goal list when it comes to being sober. Today I had some really aggravating challenges, but they just don't get to me like before. I don't try to control things, and when I'm faced with a curve ball I just go with it. It's so freeing and wonderful.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

ND,

Are you talking about the AA promises? We neither regret the past nor shut the door on it?

Its meant to tell us that we did those stuff under the influence. Under the influence we do some crazy stuff. Also when not drinking we could be driven by our un-conscious mind. As we awaken, we realize its really not us. We use that to help others feel comfortable and show them that its ok and that we all make mistakes. For me forgiving myself was one of the most relieving thing that happened to me. For me Power of Now did it. There were some lingering issues that kept bothering me. Then Eckhart talks about the egoic mind and we simply step out of that and become the observer. Then I started to experience piece like never before.

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