When I read posts I see so much of myself in other stories... today I too took that first step in reaching out... feeling ashamed and i guess just not wanting to admit it.... I find it funny how i am ashamed to admit i have a problem.. but yet, I can be drunk.. and stupid, and wake up not remembering what i did or said and hurt people i love.... makes no sense really! just excuses i guess... I hope that i can find the willpower for change, and maybe will the support of others to help through the tough time. good luck.. and one day at a time :)