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Caught Myself

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Sometimes the desire is still there and we forget to foster it. That's what I think.

I got to a point where I felt I didn't have anything to add or share or give. So I stopped posting, stopped reading and went on about my life....and that's when I slipped. No one understands drinking like a drinker. If I see someone falling apart I get concerned....I get worried for them. It's a Hell to live in---however our mind will forget that Hell. Kind of like surgery....After a while you forget the parts you want to forget.

Jim123---I think it's great that you are reaching back out. If you are in college or living around one....it's hard because it's a party lifestyle. Hang in there. I think you are probably beating yourself up for getting back into your old habits. I did that also. But, it doesn't help you. What I have learned is that you need to move forward and this site can help if you post often and read daily. Take care!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

I know. I have seen the distruction in my own family. I had a few AA members 12 step my brother-in-law few months before his death. Unfortunately he just scoffed. Within few months, his body collapsed and I heard just few hours before his death, he cried out loud for help, unfortunately it was too late. Like the big books suggest, we will have better chance when the candiate is somewhat in a depressed state after a binge. And even then, chances are slim, its a inside job, the desire to recover must come within.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Certainly no argument there. I was just wondering why you love watching them do something that you know can be a one way ticket to misery (this progressive fatal disease you've been referring to), that's all. Personally, when I see someone getting trashed I get concerned about their future and I lived the pain of myself. People will drink until they decide otherwise.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Hey there are millions who can drink safely and few who don't. And while they are active in their drinking, there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. In my own career I failed to heed several occasions, just like Bill W says in his story.

"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier Who caught his death Drinking cold small beer. A good soldier is ne'er forgot Whether he dieth by musket Or by pot."

Ominous warning which I failed to heed.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Thanks for the clarification. It just sounds strange you love watching people do something that has been so destructive and you consider a decease.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Yes Jaklad. Its partly by my own experience and then acquired knowledge from other resources mainly the big book. I remember my SIL telling me this at the peak of my drinking career this is disease and if I continued I will die or go insane (she was part of the Alanon program). I told her that I wasn't has bad as my cousin that I will get over my drinking when time comes. But that time came, I couldn't. I had to seek help. I had to realize deep down within that I can't go on like this no more.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

Foxman, I can see you are a well practiced 12 stepper.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Later I meant when the time is right. When they are receptive after series of setbacks. When they are drinking I will never bring up the subject of recovery unless they ask. For some a few DUIs will get them to the state of surrender, for some few more trips to the hospital for some deep emotional upheaval.

Recently I heard that a close family friend of ours has been having issues with drinking. Heard his face swelled up when he drank wine. I knew immediately he doctor should have put him on antibuse and because of the obsession he continued to drink. All I could do was stop by and leave an big book with his wife. When I ran into him in the next party he was still drinking but acted as though he was still in control. I still never brought up the subject of recovery. Interestingly we are going to be on a cruise together with 4 other families. It will be great opportunity for me to show that we can lead a normal peaceful life without alcohol. Hope he brings of the topic of recovery after the cruise when he sees the hefty bill at the end.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Foxman, just curious about something....... you say "in fact I love watching other people drink so I can see if I can be of help to them later on when they need it....."

Do you mean you love watching them drink so you can help them to the cab or something or help them with the recovery process when they process and recommending AA? I'm just curious because I would think you would feel concerned from someone who actually gets to the point that needs help because the've consumed too much alcohol and its become a problem.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Jim123,

It's easy to understand why you might find it hard to abstain from drinking being in college, or at least you were last time you check ion with the site. Are you still in school? Regarding the hangovers, those are pretty standard for someone that has consumed a pretty significant amount of alcohol. How often are you experiencing this?

All the best,

Dave

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Caught Myself