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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi TS!

Yep, it's been a pretty quiet weekend. Great and relaxing with some much needed time with my husband. Sometimes the stress of day to day life eats away at us and we forget to take a minute to be grateful.

So yes, I am much like you in that I over rate the pleasures of it as well. Especially at public events. This Thanksgiving won't be a struggle as my parents and sibling are coming to visit and none of them drink. So that's great!! BUT --- and this is a big but we have a wedding reception on Saturday and there will be lots of wine there. So I'm preparing for that.

Yes, currently I'm abstaining... I haven't thought about the long term as its kind of intimidating, frankly. I agree, coming here and reading about others struggles and others victories help me focus when I'm struggling. And I feel really good right now (which can back fire on me as it has in the past)....

I'm here for you if you feel pinched with the holiday's ( and ANYtime for that matter!! For sure) so just let me know if you get distressed. You are doing so great!! So strong!! Keep the positive energy flowing, TS! It's inspiring!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi ND,

Good to hear you sounding so upbeat! I was worried about you but now I see you're back on track. I believe you are currently trying to abstain in the short term however I'm curious what your long term goal is or are you not thinking about that yet.

Whenever I start thinking about alcohol, I simply google personal stories (or come here) to help me stay focused since I have a tendency to over rate the pleasures associated with drinking. When you read of others challenges and then dissect your own life you do see alcohol in a different light. Alcohol becomes menacing. When you embrace it as such it becomes really easy to leave it alone.

My resolve is strong right now however we are approaching major trigger season with Christmas and New Year. Don't be surprised if I start sending out distress signals. I'm putting a lot of effort into laying down a good foundation with all that I have in my arsenal and trust I'll be successful but I am very watchful.

Keep going ND, lots of no hangover days await.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Great night tonight....dinner....date....no hangover....yay!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

One day at a time.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Thanks Jakelad for the input. Wow that 's great to be so close to your 9 month chip. I am so proud to know you. That's awsome! I understand what you mean that sharing what happened and what worked for you helps you stay sober. I have found that also. In fact when I disappear from this site it's the first step in slipping for me. I like to help. I like to support.

Thanks again and congratulations on your accomplishment!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

I am just happy to share. Not pushing the BB or any of it's principals. Just sharing what happened to me. For me a chance to share helps me stay sober today. right now I am 17 days away from my 9 month chip. I am actually content.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Jakelad,

I appreciate the reference to the bb but I am trying to do this without it. I think you are such a wonderful resource...I love your outlook on life....please continue to help me and comment on my posts because I have found your input SO HELPFUL TO MY RECOVERY. Thank you for your input....please keep it up.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

Funny, I just read the chapter "to the families" In the big book. Lots of talk on how the children react to recovery. If you have not read it I recommend it. It may help you to see what the kids are thinking. As for the self loathing, I did a very through 4th and 5th step. Grown 220 pound man and I cried many times during my 5th. After I felt such a relief, it was amazing. Since then I do not self loath, I am grateful for my past, it brought me to a sober today. I wish everyone a sober 24 hrs.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hi Jakelad,

I can totally identify with you post. I like the analogy of a tidel wave of distruction. I feel that way sometimes too. I can remember past binges and I cringe. Little things set it off---like I have this great recipe for Lemon Chicken---it takes white wine (just a half a cup) but of course I'd have to buy a bottle to make it (wink, wink) and then I'd drink the bottle...plus while I'm cooking. The dinner would turn out ok but, the atmosphere was bad because I was drunk. I don't remember ever eating the lemon chicken myself. So, now when we have any kind of chicken at dinner---i cringe and think of my lemon chicken drama. That's just the first example that popped into my head while reading your post. It's funny what we remember and what we don't. I totally agree with you that we can use those memories to remind us not to do it again. But, it's a thin line between reminding ourselves not to act like that (ei: drink) and punishing ourselves and dipping into self loathing because of it.

Great post Jakelad. Thanks for it. Makes me remember that i'm not alone.

We had a great family night this weekend and laughed and had an amazing time! We had a great Sunday also. I feel like my kids are feeling so much better about me and maybe realize that I'm trying very hard to be what they want me to be and what I want myself to be----and that I love them unconditionally. Kids are hard critics----but they are windows to the truth also and what we leave for them are memories.....i want the memories my kids have of me to be better...that's what i'm striving for.

Peace to you! :-)

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