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9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Patticakes,

Great work! Getting past those initial triggers can be a little over-whelming at first but you did a great job and having alternatives is the best way to go. It will get easier but the first week is is often the toughest. If I can make a suggestion.....I'd avoid it for a while. If you can, get through the weekend. It really is worth the break. I can completely relate to the day after negative feelings. Why do think you want to self-medicate?

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Hi Dave, Day 4 has gone okay. The worst is the 'witching hours' when I used to pour myself a glass of wine. Usually if I can make it to 9:00 pm I'm okay. I drank about a gallon of herbal tea and Crystal Light this evening though!

I've told myself I can have some wine on Friday if I go all week without a drink. I don't know if I will indulge though. It might be a bad idea this soon in the game.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 9

Welcome to everyone that is new on here. I have only been on here for about 3 and a half weeks, the support and honesty has been amazing for me. I hope that you will find it as helpful as I have. Keep posting!

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Patti,

Welcome to the site. How is day 4 going for you? Based on what you've said it's a really good idea to stop drinking for a while and sort things out. Do you have any kind of plan or stop date in mind?

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Hello, I am new to this site as well. This is my second day without a drink. I'm not sure whether I will cut down or give it up entirely, but I have reached the point where I am more afraid of drinking than not-drinking, and I'm tired of attempting to "self-medicate" only to feel disgusted with myself the next morning.

I've randomly read a few posts and thought, Hey, that's me!

I think this site will be very helpful. Everyone seems so kind and non-judgmental.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 315

It is so true that when nearing the end of our drinking lives loneness is all we feel. I basically destroyed every relationship over the past 25 years. The only "friends" I had left where just drinking buddies. Sober people are not alone I have only been sober for a few months and I have more true friends now then I ever had in my life. Friends that actually care. "You are no longer alone".

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Hopeful Sarah,

Your post describing your situation really resonated with me because it was very much a description on what I've experienced in my life (home life, family and friends, kids, etc). I grew up in the same type of household and really relate to everything you're saying. I'm so hopeful for you because you've recognized this at 35 years old (I've got 15 on you) which is incredibly positive. As you've recognized, you have the unique opportunity to put an end to this negative family so your children can be free of it. I made that decision myself and it is making all the difference. There are a couple of topics you may find of interest:

Extreme (black and white) thinking (lists dysfunctional thinking habits the create problems for ourselves and relationships)

Characteristics of alcoholic or dysfunctional households......

(List of characteristics someone may develop growing up in a home of alcohol abuse or dysfunctional behavior).

Do you recognize or relate to any of this? I sure do. Correcting these in ourselves relieves and eliminates so stress and negativity in our lives. I would highly recommend stopping the drinking completely and giving yourself the chance to resolve some of the challenges that are driving the alcohol consumption.

Here is another source to start learning that will help both you and your kids:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/creative-development/200902/emotional-learning

It has links that will dive into SEL (Social and Emotional Learning).

Hope this helps. All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1009

Hi Hopeful Sarah,

Welcome to the site. I really like your alias (name). A great message to always sign a post to. You're exactly right when you say it is a journey and it is a very individual process made better by a common support system. While it is considered by some to be a chronic condition this only the case for an extremely small segment of the population and even then the majority of them will resolve it outside the premise that is a "decease". It's entirely up to you how you want to perceive and approach it because it is essentially a learned condition that develops into deep-rooted habit that drives many unnecessary problems in our lives. Fortunately we can change our situation and enjoy our lives again and you'll grain new strengths and insights while resolving many of the drivers that initiated this problem in the first place. Some quit completely while others learn to moderate. I can only speak for myself but I enjoy life so much more now that I don't the ever-present burden of alcohol and all of the hassles and strains that go along with it.

I hope you stick around and find the support that you need. Sending you positive energy to get you started :)

All the best,

Dave

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11221

It sounds like you have a lot to gain from fighting this uphill battle.

It also sounds like you know what a big lifestyle change it would take to win this battle.Changing the environment you are exposed to regularly is essential.What is the first step do you think?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

Thanks everyone. Ashley - There are too many ways that stopping this cycle would be beneficial. Some of the main ones are, I want to stop this cycle for my girls. Both my husband and I come from alcoholic families and to this day - the main event at most / all gathering is drinking. I do NOT want my girls to fall into this cycle or to remember their Dad and I drinking a lot. I want to have lots and lots of memories that do NOT include drinking. I want to feel better and stop the self loathing I feel on the mornings after. I'm a active 35 year old and like to exercise and alcohol hinders that a lot. I want to learn how to have fun at events without alcohol. I'm very blessed in my life and I want to know that and enjoy that without the effects of too much alcohol. That being said - we ALL face uphill battles, and I feel like my "hill" is a big one. My husband admits he drinks too much. My Dad is a admitted alcoholic and stopped drinking 2 years ago. My Mom and Step-Dad drink all the time and when we are with them, they drink to drunkness everytime, and encourage us to do that same. The majority of our friends drink a lot too (time to change who I spend time with) It's all around me, all the time. Thanks for listening.

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