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Want to stop drinking in a difficult place!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Hey David, If you search for local AA meetings in your area, you will see notations for new comer/beginners meetings. Usually they share about how they got into AA, so you could relate to their stories and identify with the disease. But you also want to check out Big Book meetings thats where they study the book called Alcoholics Anonymous. Thats where you will find solution oriented people. You may also want to check out the official AA web-site. They have a on-line version of the book Alcoholics Anonymous and several articles to help you understand the fellowship.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11218

Hi David,

First of all, Splitimage gave you some excellent advice, take it. One step at a time, and right now the first step is not drinking.

The guilt and sadness is a huge part of quitting drinking and coming to terms with these feelings does take time as Splitimage said. Be patient with yourself and your loved ones. Be as open and honest as you can be and encourage them to be the same. Let them know about your goals and that they are a huge part of these goals but right now you really need to focus on yourself and your addiction. For a little while you might have to be a little selfish by putting you abstinence first.

You may want to get counselling on your feelings and I encourage you to seek couples counselling to address relationship concerns. These wounds can heal but it will take hard work on both your parts.

You mentioned that it seems easier to continue drinking and not have to climb the mountain in front of you. This is the addiction talking it is certainly not easier to continue as you have been. It is incredibly painful and hard to continue and it could lead you to losing everything. Please keep this in mind. You can turn this around and even make your relationships stronger because of this. You deserve this.Your loved ones deserve this. Now fight for it. We will be here for you every step of the way.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Thank you Splitimage!

I really appreciated the feedback. I'll definetly consider theses options and concentrate on the first few days. About the AA is there special meetings for first time attendees?

How can you make understand to loved ones that you have to concentrate on stoping to drink before you can fix things when they don't understand this is bigger than just making mistakes?

THx again.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 272

Hi Dave,

Welcome, and congratulations on your desire to stop drinking and rebuild your life. Unfortunately there are no quick fixes, it takes time to rebuild the trust we've destroyed through our drinking.

So where do you start. You start by not drinking, one day at a time. I find I can't get too far ahead in my thinking, becuase I just get overwhelmed.

I needed rehab to get sober. In fact I've needed it 4 times. I find rehab is a good place to get some solid sober time and start to work on the underlying issues of why you drank.

I also attend AA and find its support to be very valuable. You might want to check out a meeting because there you will meet other people who have struggled with or are struggling with the same things you are struggling with.

Please be gentle with yourself for the first week or so. Don't make any big plans. Don't concentrate on trying to fix everything. Just concentrate on not drinking.

Good luck.

splitimage

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 20

Hey guys!

I'm done! I had found this site about 3 years ago but never was comitted in admitting I really needed to stop. Since then alcool has taken away my life.... Today (or since yesterday should I say) I am commited to stop drinking.

I however am in a difficult place since I have so much to rebuild. I have betrayed friends and lied to so many people that I don't know where to start. How do you deal with loved ones who see you as a failure and a liar. How do you deal with a (12 year) relationship you have destroyed? I love this girl and she loves me but has so much hatred for me. How do you cope sober with the feelings of guilt and the sadness you created in the past years where you were always on the bottle....

I've reached my bottom and want to get back up but how. This site gives alot of technical tricks to cope with situations but how do you cope with the people you hurted that are mad at you.

When you've lost everything and want to get better what have you done.

What have you done when it just seemed easier to continue drinking instead of climbing the mountain you have build in front of you.

I know so many concerns and questions.... I guess the first days are hardest when everything comes at you without the blur!

Thanks for your help guys!

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Want to stop drinking in a difficult place!