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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi Laura & Red, thanks for checking in. I agree with Ashley, Red... while the Evolution Health sites & HE's have been very helpful ... you have done the hard work practicing and utilizing the information and support. What a journey it's been, que si?!

Ashley, thanks for explaining about there being different versions of the program available. Who knew? Sorry I was giving out information that just didn't jive with what others were seeing. Kind of confusing that. Anyway, good to know why.

As for doing the homework, Ashley gives some really good advice on how to manage it. Something to watch out for is the perfectionist's approach where you feel like you must to it 100% RIGHT or you don't do it at all. There is no absolutely correct way to do the homework. It just needs to be done. When I first started, I made myself do each thought tracker three or four times over... for each thought! I just couldn't seem to get it "right." It was very hard to allow myself to just slap dash it off. Of course, I wasn't really doing that... it just felt that way because I was looking for perfection... which doesn't exist because there is no perfect way to do the homework. And around and around we go....

Congratulations on the raise Laura! Nice way to head into some vacation time. I'm glad it worked out. What are your plans for the next week? Any trips or projects on the agenda? Good books to read? Of course, you will have your doctor's appointment

... what else will you do with this time?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Hi Ashley,

Thanks for the info, I think you are correct, I seem to have a different version of the program.

t have a different version of the program. As for the feeling I had on tuesday, it was anxiety. It wasn't painful, it was just weird, maybe it was more of a tingling, not burning. I was just trying to describe the physical sensation. In any case, no....I haven't seen the dr. yet, and I should go. I am off work all week, so I should be able to get in to see her at some point. I guess I figured I was good, no reason to waste her time, but she did ask that I come back, so I will make an appt or pop in on her clinic hours and touch base.

Thanks for your concern and reminding me.

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Thank you so much Red! But I will not take one bit of credit for all you have accomplished. It takes an incredible amount of work to make all the changes you have on all the sites. The programs and support groups are a huge asset but YOU were the one who evolved. It has been such a gift to see you evolve over the last few years. You have worked so hard to get where you are now. Thank you for letting me be a part of it

Laura and ~m, Laura it sounds like you are on a different version of the program. You will have to work through the program in a linear fashion to access the info. The homework is printable only but you could also just use a journal and use the worksheets for reference. You do not need to track your homework at work if you are too busy. If you spend 30 minutes a day on one thought record then that is plenty! Try scheduling 30 minutes a day to do the homework and see how you do. To follow up on ~m's question did you get to a doctor? Radiating pain should be looked at by a doctor.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Hi m!

How are you? Thanks for all the info, I don't seem to have the icons. I have tabs and one is program tools and the other one is worksheets. I can't seem to open either of the links beyond the session I have gone through....it highlights when I hover over the link, but it won't open. When I read another session more of the links become clickable for me.

In any case, I found the first two sessions good, pretty basic I like reading, and I have a bookshelf full of shelf help books, so I didn't find it too much reading. The problems I have is doing the homework, partly because of the printer thing, and partly because during the day at work, I'm too freakin busy to fill out more paperwork or think about how I feel, unless I'm in panic mode.

I'm off work next week so one of my projects is to get the printer up and running, and really work on session 3 homework. I've been eating better this week, not super fantastic, but better than fast food. It seems like when everything is going along smooth, I feel good, but certain things, seem to derail me. For me, I need to learn how to not let those things bother me sooooo much, or figure out a way of dealing with the way I do feel.

My Smudge is a beautiful little Calico, they do have such personality don't they?

Oh, and I'm proud to tell you my boss finally gave me my raise....she gave me more because she said she was supposed to do it last month. There you go, it was exactly what I figured (when I was thinking rationally) and she was just too busy. She said she was really happy with the extra effort I've been putting in, to move some difficult projects forward.

One more work day, and I'm free for a week!

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Just a program note...

While each session (trophy icons) needs to be completed to open up the corresponding worksheets in your toolbox, the extra help sessions (with the butterfly icons) are available anytime... in no particular order. Relationships, Grief & Loss, and Relaxation Techniques are three sessions I seem to need to read over and over and over.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Laura,

To answer your other questions...

About the forms... there has been discussion of making the forms so we can just input our information without having to copy the questions or kill a bazillion trees printing them out. At one point it seemed they were working on it... but I never heard anything more about it. It certainly would make the homework easier to do.

and the kitty.... Years ago I had a cat named Smudge too. She was a fluffy, beautiful, gray cat. Total personality plus. Now I have a fiesty little calico and a huge Ragdoll who is mostly pretty laid back except when he wants breakfast at 4:30 am.

working the sessions... I'm impressed that you have made it to session 3. Any thoughts, insights, questions about the material you have covered so far. Any suggestions to help new members get started?

I am currently working through Session 8 again (core beliefs) because those are what keeps tripping me up. I was going to start at the beginning doing the tracking and homework pages but it just felt too overwhelming. I did a read through all of them and took the little quizzes at the end of each session to refresh my memory. It was helpful. Now I'm about three weeks into the core beliefs... trying to work on it everyday... but not too much so that I get overwhelmed. Progress is being made... slowly, but surely.

On your health... Have you made your doctor appointment yet?

Have you tried drinking smoothies when it is difficult to eat? I'm not real fond of them, but it is a good way to get nutrients into your body quickly and easily. You know how important that is when you are feeling badly (especially when you are a smoker). I like to use greens (spinach, kale, etc.) with some chia seeds, oatmeal, banana & almond milk. Still looking for the perfect mix that doesn't make me gag.... but do feel virtuous when I get one down. Ha.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Laura! Radiating pain is something to be concerned about. Can you make an appointment to see your doctor during your days off... or sooner?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 40

Thanks for listening m, and I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I am only on session 3 and until you go through each session you don't have access to it. I want to get to more of the info that will help me, but I also want to put in the effort to do each one in turn. I don't have a printer right now, so I have to save the worksheets, and email them to myself at work, and print them there. I think it would be nice if they could be filled in online and saved.

As for the boss, she is a pet owner, and loves her pets, so it was not like her to say that, and I agree it was really insensitive, and I think it was a case of saying something without thinking, and then realizing it, but not saying she realized it was insensitive. Yes, Smudge is my best friend, confidant, and like my child in many ways. Somedays the only reason I get out of bed, because someone wants breakfast!

Today was strange, I had a really uncomfortable feeling when I got up this morning, and it got worse when I got into work. I tried to pin it down to what it felt like physically...it was like a burning feeling radiating outward, again no real reason for it, it made me anxious. But I just got a cup of coffee, and I put on some essential oils, on my feet and shoulders, took a few deep breaths, and it subsided enough to get some work done, I went for my walk at lunch, and I ate....although I really didn't want to I choked down a sandwhich and some fruit.

I only have 3 more days until I'm off for 9, and I'm looking forward to staying home, and doing whatever I want to do.

My journals are my life story, I have volumes of them too! I am a little afraid to read them - I need to be in the right frame of mind when I do, otherwise it's like dredging up something that should be left alone, but sometimes I find some jewels of thought in there :)

What session are you on now, are you working through them all, or concentrating on certain ones?

Laura

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1022

Hi Laura... thanks for checking in. Your honesty is appreciated. If you don't mind some feedback...

Your boss was, at the very least, insensitive. Our critters are our family (often more so than ppl family!) Would it be ok for someone to tell me (as my husband turns 60)... oh, so sorry you only have about 10 more years with him... unless he gets sick and dies before that. Sheeeeesh! Is she a pet owner? I'd be upset too.

You also wrote:

"I guess when I think about the future I have a really hard time seeing anything positive in it. All I can see is losing the most precious beings in my life."

This is reality. Learning to think positively based on CBT techniques does not require that we deny reality and just pretend everything is wonderful and happy all the time. I can't (in a short space) quite explain how it works ... yet. I just know we aren't told to ignore the negatives in life... it's all a process... learning to live positively. Work through the sessions and you'll find the fear and despair becoming more manageable.

Thanks for sharing how your journals helped you... I'm kind of afraid of them... don't know if that makes any sense at all. But I will try to get back into writing regularly and maybe look in the old ones for how I got out of the abyss of depression before. Lots to process.

Oh... one thing I've learned is that it isn't necessarily the depression itself that sends us into despair. It is how we judge ourselves and our behaviors that does the most damage. Hey, if you needed to be on the couch eating fast food for two days... I call that self nurturing not wallowing in self-pity. You sounded kind of disgusted with yourself, so I guess I'm reminding you to be kind. You do what you need to do. Visiting family, whatever the circumstances, is terribly exhausting. You have work stressors at play as well. You NEED time to decompress. It's OK. Tell your inner-perfectionist that while you appreciate the input... it needs to stop for a bit and give you a breather.

Easier said than done. All of the above. Comes with practice though. It can happen. Really.

Keep posting... I want to know how it is going with you. Don't know if you saw the post from Ashley about HE schedules. They will only be checking in Friday - Monday now so you will get a response from them... but it may be delayed. I'm here most days, enjoying my retired self, so I can at least listen.

Take care and be nice to you. Give kitty a scritch for me and know cats do have 9 lives, so you'll have feline company for many years to come.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Ashley,

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me a update on your and the other educators schedules as to when you will be here..I will miss your presence and your guidance here and on the sister sites too. You have helped me more than you will ever know..Hey wait, I take that back, I am sure you know because you have seen the difference in me as I have evolved over the last few years while working with you on the various sites here...

I really think I have made great strides with the cbt..and want to thank you for helping me make sense out of chaos and for helping me find my way when I thought all was lost..

I will be reading and looking for your words of wisdom when your are here..I want you and all the educators to know that I appreciate everything that you do for me and all of us here on this site and all the sister sites too..

Talk to you soon..

Red..

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