Lately, I have been writing DEiva's declaration of independance! I have gotten to part 2. I am slowly working on owning myself the way I am, with all my quirks and such. It all started when a friend of mine complained that I play too many silly little games on my facebook. I like to play pirates and such and I post pretty pictures of fairies. And me and some of my friends like to talk pirate to each other. We participate in each others fantasy worlds. So he complained and he blamed the "Stupid computer" for making me that way. Werll at first I was stunned! I was stunned because he is one of my best and oldest friends. How could he now know I have always been like that! How can he not know I have always been a fantasy/sci-fi Fangirl?!? Then I felt insulted. Why was he dissing something that brought me joy and fun in my life? Why was he trying to shame me and take that away from me?
I realized that he did not know that about me because in the past, Ihave hidden that fact from him. I instinctively felt and knew thast he disliked that kind of thing and as such kind of didn't make him aware of that side of myself. I realized I have done that a lot in my life. I take a lot of energy to hide facets of myself from people so as to mold myself into what they expect from me! And it is exhausting!
So I told him. I told him I hadf always been that way, that the computer had nothing to do with it, it had just enabled him to be more aware of this fact. And that I was that way and it made me happy and he could take it or leave it!
Before, I would have apologized for disappointing him and hid again, like I had to be ashamed. But not this time. And it was cathartic!
So that is when I started writing my declaration of independance!
I am TIRED of molding myself for others. I am tired of hiding parts of myself to fit into the molds others provide me! I am me and if they can't take it! They don't deserve me!!!
I am declaring today, November 10th, Diva's Independance Day! It is a new era in my life. No more hiding! No more wasting energy trying to meet other people's expectations of me! This is me like it or not!
