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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Wildcat,

How are you doing today?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hiya WildCat,

Well, that is good news. 30% better is better! So that is good. I am so glad the acupuncturist helps you so much. I am more and more tempted to give it a try!

As for the agenda, it sounds like such a great idea! Have you ever thought a mental health association might be interested in your idea and might be able to help you so that other people with mental health issues could benefit too? I know I would be more then happy to pay for an agenda like that!

As for triggers I hear you! It is just hard to admit to being sensitive to them! I often want to ignore that...

And you are welcome!

As for encouraging you it is easy as you are great and so supportive to all of us. I often find your replies to be so helpful and insightful. And I appreciate your kindness and understanding too. We are lucky to have you!

Bonne fin de semaine! Repose-toi bien

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

Hi Diva, Hi Grumbles.

It is so nice to hear from you!

I think I am 30% better today. and the appointment with the accupuncturist is a good help!

i REALLY need to get that agenda idea I have composting out into the garden

It would help me Micro-manage the Bipolarity so much better... and I am realising that the TRIGGERS are real and affect me as much as anyone else.

Thank you.

Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for reminding me that I am a person with an equal share of EVERYTHING that humanity has... good and bad. Thank you for being here I so appreciate your kindness and your understanding.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 125

I know exactly how you feel Wildcat. I won't even let myself read magazines anymore.... it just makes me feel like I need to buy more, look better etc.

For me I always feel like I am missing out on life. All I want to do is stay at home and hide but then I feel sad for not doing anything exciting. I hope that I will start to feel better this weekend....

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Oh Wildcat,

I felt so sad when I read your posts. You are Not mediocre or boring or anything of the sort in any way! Your insights and support here have been a godsend! You are intelligent and have quick wit and a poetic way of communicating! I find my life much richer with communicating with you through here!

I wish I had something to tell you to help you through this. It seems to me you know how to handle this much better then me though. But I do want to say you are in my thoughts and I send you good vibrations as we speak! Hang in there hun!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Wlidcat,

Have you talked to your employer about this? It is in his/her best interest to keep you happy and healthy. They must offer some resources or plan to help with mental health issues.

I know what you mean about comparing to pop culture. It really is terrible how todays media makes people feel. The media makes us feel always deficient in some way but the reality is we should be thankful for so many things. If only there was a way to remind our selves of these things. To really feel thankful everyday for what we have...to have it ingrained in us to feel thankful. Unfortunately what we need most and what should come easiest to us (Appreciation for life) is often the most difficult.

I don't think that there is anything I can say that will fix things for you but I hope just discussing things gives you some relief. You are so strong wildcat. Soon you will be having good days and we will be here to share those days with you too. Enjoy your weekend! What are your plans for this weekend? You should plan a nice reward for yourself...you deserve it!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

Hi ashley.

I guess I am in an episode. Eh?

I know what what i have to ...

**Eat better, be careful of those foods that rock the boat.

**Force my body to sleep. i need to shut down properly. A computer has a reboot button and my psychiatrist gave me seroquel for such occations. I hate to admit I can not do this on my own but my health demands it!

**I need to soak up the sun. A bunch of vitamins are processed in the skin like D, and calcium is better absorbed with D in the system and magnesium... so the bst source of Bioavailable D is that which the body produces from melatonin in the skin... Right?

**I will put up the Adult swing and read stories to Tiamat. Exercise and pleasant activity to push the mood through... and a walk through the forested park will be a good meditation to HEAL the spirit after this bout of pain...

Ashley.

It is just I hung around with so many interesting and brilliant people when I went to Concordia University that I was just a bit behind. My Bipolarity that I had but was never diagnosed, was such a handicap that I got into the habit of thinking of myself as Stupid, and other negatives... I seems to have to run all the time just to maintain the pace others could walk through.

Then when I left school It was a relief. And I found myself alone. I do not have much family. I do not make close friendships. I drift from group to group and never really fit in... so I feel different. Odd. Alien.

And what do we normally use to gauge ourself against? POP CULTURE of course. So books, movies, advertisiving paints me to me mediocre. I am not pretty. I do not have the material dropping that define success and attract superficial people towards me. I do not have employment with a title and fair renumeration. I am at the bottom of the corporate guppy-pond. And that is fine, because the stress level is where it should be for me!

It is just that I want normal BAD DAYS, where I comb my hair and look frizzy not all swollen and puffy from crying half the night from the pain of being unhappy. (Unhappy that the world is a sad boring place.) I want to look at people and not care what their whispers are about rather than become paranoid that I am the center of nasty gosip that will turn EVERYONE against me... I want family to understand that a home with a depressed/bipolar person in it might be beautiful or might look like a craft store after an earthquake at class-time.

I think most times I am not so bad. it is really just me. Me right now. Me, right now, right here.

Meaning, I am not well. I have no sick nor vacation days and cannot afford me/non-paid days. So I cannot recuperate at as I need. And I am STUCK without immediate support.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Oh wildcat,

I cannot believe I am hearing this? You mediocre? You are one of the most active members one of the most active members on the forums with the most incredible incite and advice. Everyone on here would agree you are far from mediocre. And besides that...what kind of person would you like to be instead? And I don't mean minus certain problems I mean certain character traits you would like to have. And along with that thinking how do you think you would feel if you became that person? Once you have that figured out you then need to plan how you can take steps to achieve that. What are your firs steps? I know it sounds silly but people really can re-create themselves. Just discussing it is interesting in itself.

Others what kind of person do you want to be? Remember we are not talking about minus problems we are talking about character traits. What kind of character do you strive to have?

Ashley

Here to help :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

Hi Diva.

Spring is when people rub me the wrong way ... too much energy.

And at work we close the books May 31st. So everyone wants as much out as possible before that date. It is the Spring cleaning of the accounting!

Coffee.

I can do two normal with two sugar each.

But recently it has been 4 to 5 Tim Ho refill cups, with chocolate and whipped cream, and that sugared creamy flavoured stuff, and the coarse flavoured stuff with more sugar, so remember Moore with the Fast-Food experiments he did to his body for a film??? well my body turns itself on like that from time to time. Almost like an episode triggers the cravings Hmmmm, interesting thought!!!!! no?

I have been worried about a lot of little things... the ultasound. My daughter's motor tic and I think it is related to a huge andenoid!!! so she might have it and her tonsiles removed (like her brother) and will pull a fit when she learns of it!!! My son will now move on to a new grade 5th! He repeted 4th due to his ADD. And I was worried about the school services for next year ... and the fact it took 3 summers to ride a bike and he still cannot tie his shoe laces!!! at 11 years old.

My neanderthal is waking up from the ice age! and asked what was wrong yesterday. What do I tell him? I am miserable. My body hurts for no reason other than depression is eating away at it. I want to cry all day long and the smallest look is reason to send me to the waterworks. I hate what I am and how I look. I ALWAYS was a mediocre person with no dicerable gift and I will never shine with an inner light. I will ALWAYS be what my genetic heritage has mapped out for me with no hope for and glory nor excitement of any kind.

It is now an ALWAYS kinda day...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Wildcat,

Mind me asking why the next 45 days are the most stressful? Is it because of your upcoming test at the hospital? Sorry my brain is just not always cooperative lately!

As for the coffee, what is the quantity you can handle well usually? Do you think you can cut down so you can sleep?

As for cravings, I hear you! I can't stop eating either lately! I want chocolate and caramel and chips and pizza and to wash it down with pop! ARGH! I put on like 15-20 pounds in the last few months! I don'T fit in my clothes! But I figure with the nice weather returning I will endeavor to get back on track.

I am sorry you are feeling so sad honey. Hang in there, it will get better. Remember, this too shall pass!

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