EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Depression
Coping with Setbacks
a difficult time

Advanced Search Form

a difficult time

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Rosie,

I think its a really good idea that you talk to your friend. It is always a good idea to communicate. Telling him how you feel would be good for both of you. Say what you need to say but keep in mind you cannot change his reaction to what you say. It is his choice even if you think it is the wrong choice. I know sometimes you just want to shake people who don't understand you. We know it hurts. Maybe one day he will understand. But at least you know we do and we are hear for you.

I think the retreat is a really good idea also. Enjoy.

Ashley

Here to help :)

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Hi guys

Thanks for all the positive comments. I am feeling a bit better today. I suppose I am being too hard on myself, I am allowed to be upset about losing a friend. Part of the reason he 'can't be my friend' anymore is because I complain about the same things all the time and that he can't fix me. I don't want him to be my therapist (I have one of those and am going for a checkup next week). I am just going through a difficult phase of my life and thought I had someone I could confide in and trust. Yesterday we walked right past each other, like I was invisible and it hurt again. So I got angry and sent an SMS saying we need to talk. I feel like I need closure on this. I can't just keep feeling angry and betrayed- all my bottling up of emotions backfired nicely with this whole depression thing. I need to get stuff out of my system instead of trying to put on a smile and carry on like nothing is wrong when I am hurting so much inside. I'm going to tell him how I feel and if nothing else, at least I won't have regrets and words left usaid. Hope I don't feel worse afterwards.

I am going to spend some time taking stock of my relationship this weekend with this program. I have decided to treat myself and am going to attend a weekend retreat in a week's time, just to get a time-out from my life.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hello Rosie,

I just read your post.

! I agree with what has been said here. Life and relationships are complicated and your feelings are completely understandable. But don't take on the blame on yourself. I, like wildcat, think you are caring and intelligent and great.! You are precious and wonderful!

Hang in there hun. If he hurt you he did not deserve you!

It does get better, I do believe that. And please feel free to vent with us anytime!

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Rosie,

Sorry to hear that you had a sad day today. Your feelings are understandable given the betrayal and disappointment you have been suffering recently.

You must believe that good things do happen to good people and that you should not change yourself into someone you are not just to please others. Life and relationships are complicated and full of surprises. You have every right to feel angry and miserable however, do not take on the blame and do not be hard on yourself for being a giving and generous person.

Acknowledge your husband for being supportive and surround yourself with those who care about you and love you.

Hope tomorrow will be a happier day for you.

Faryal, Health Educator

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi rapl, that is great... I am happy that you found a group of real people to talk to... It fills in the therapie gaps like nothing else!

Rosie,

you came up with a bunch of ideas... you remembered that this is a passing moment and soon the worst of this mood will lift. You kept yourself from falling into a old pattern of thinking that is toxic to your well being. You were goin to review the use of your relationship tools and you schedualed a pleasant activity!!!

whew!where is the pat on the back?

You know Rosie, if it were not for the distance I would like to meet you. You are caring and always have a word or two share with everyone. This time you picked a person who was not ripe for a friendship and it was really bitter. I have a lot of blackberries like that! But do not place all the blame on yourself, maybe try in better orchards. We have christian cafes and optimist's clubs here that are places to meet friends.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 51

Rosie, I am so sorry to hear you are going thru such a tough time. i know how devasting it is to lose a friend, especially now when you feel so alone. I have been there. don't know what I can say to ease the pain other than I will keep you in my prayers. I can tell you something that has helped me. I have been going to a peer support group for a number of weeks. It is not really therapy, but more just a chance to talk to others(like this place ) who are going thru similar circumstances. I find that it helps take away alot of the isolation we feel when we are going thru a bad time. It feels good to be with people who you know understand, because they have been thru it. Everyone is very caring and compassionate in the way they treat each other. It helps me get past the stigma, because for all appearances they seem as like people you would say HI to on the street. Plus some people are doing well, so it gives you hope that "this too shall pass"and that is what we need most is HOPE that we can get thru it. I found mine thru Mental Health of America(mentalhealthamerica.net). Again you are in my prayers and we are ALL here to help in any way that we can.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

I left work early. Used a cold as an excuse for watery eyes and running nose from crying when no one is looking. I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I feel like someone is pushing on my chest and it makes it hard to breathe. I feel exhausted. I know nothing lasts but I thought I was brave to take a chance and make a friend and allow them to get close to me. I feel so hurt that my only real friend wasn't my friend to start with. Its complicated. I just feel miserable and alone and like no one in the world loves me and if I disappeared tomorrow, no-one would even miss me. OK, maybe my husband will miss me, he's being quite supportive. I just don't understand why people keep hurting me like this. I would never treat anyone like that. I consider other people's feelings before I do or say things. Apparently that is weird because everyone else I know just does what they feel like, regardless of my feelings and needs. I don't feel like I want friends. I am angry and would be content to just hide in my house for a long, long time. I know I can't, but if I could, I would. I just thought I had found another person in this world who understood me and liked me as I am. Wrong again. Who could possibly just like me as I am?! I have to be someone different to make everyone happy and I just want to be one person. I am not even sure who that is. I just had a bad day (again), maybe tomorrow will be better.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Hey wildcat

I'm not sure what the next step is. Just trying to take one day at a time and when I feel like running away I tell myself 'this too shall pass'. Its the only way I can keep myself from launching into self abuse over being so unlovable. I think I'm going to go over the relationship section again and see if I can see what I am doing wrong in my relationships- it must be something I am doing that everyone deserts me (I appear to have some abondonment issues)

Thanks Breanne, I'm going to a movie with hubby tonight to try and cheer myself up a bit. I know it is just a temporary but thats OK. I am trying to get rid of my negative core belief that I am not good enough as I am, but people around me actually tell me this. How am I supposed to stay positive and believe it is not something wrong with me???

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Rosie,

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough go of it lately. Vent away Rosie, you know that's what we're here for

Maybe you should do something special for yourself today...what do you think?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi rosie.

how are you today?

so what is the next step? maybe we can do it together since i am not in the best of form myself...

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

a difficult time