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Taking time off work??


16 years ago 0 3043 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi Lovelybones, I work in a close team at work and the stigma surrounding depression hit close to home in nov 2005. I broke down. my anxiety hit new heights and I couldn't get out of my bed. I stopped functioning. I blamed it on burn-out (the professional's depression!). And I have another friend who heard some nasty remarks -it is easy to fake burn-out-. And when I returned progressively I got the -don't take anti-depressants they are addictive and make you zombie-. So I really know what you are facing. Also, with children the is the question of money and benefits... If you need the rest and time to heal. Listen to your heart. To be effective parents we need to be in shape. The company doesn't stop for the boss' cold and it will not die with out us of a bit... The gossips will find fodder from you regardless if you are there or not... there are those who will talk just to hear their own voice. You only need to think about your health and since your boss is already aware it might be good for you to discuss it. Right now I have a sweet compromise with my boss. I make sure I do my hours but my in and out is a bit more flexable. I start at 8:30 but do not get hassled if I'm here at 9... I get to have breakfast in peace a few times a week with the family and not rushrushrush and stress everyone out! Some days I leave at 4:10 and other 5:00 (the official time is 4:30). I get to internet during the day ... to get my pick-me-up here ... and I get to wander around and talk a bit. So long as at the end of the week I got through everything that was priorty and that next monday I work on the other-things. The girls mentioned my internet wanderings to the supervisor... and were put in their place. without discussing me and my bi-polar disorder and alll the rest she said she was aware. These were my tools for dealing with stress and I had the manager's permission within the limits of fixed delays for certain tasks. So there might be some place for compromise ... if sick leave is out of your range of solutions.
16 years ago 0 43 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear Lovelybones, If a coworker of yours decided to take a short term disability leave for depression, What would you think of that person? Would you think they were a loser? or a failure? If a coworker of mine decided to take a leave, I would not think of them as a loser or a failure. I would be concerned about them, want the best for them and to take as much time they needed to heal. And, I would think that they are very smart for seeking support, which is what you are doing. I hope you do take time off to heal yourself and take care of your daughter. All the best in whatever you decide to do.
16 years ago 0 172 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Lb, I truly understand your anxiety regarding work. I myself was in this position a couple of years back. For me, the only way forward was to take time off sick. That way I couldnt "stuff up" at work so therefore I couldnt get into trouble for being late or doing my work poorly. This gave me enough space to have a back op and get myself ready to return to work fully able to get through the day. I was respected for this decision. Unfortunately my back problem got worse and I eventually had to resign. How ever, had my problem been depression at that time, i feel sure that the break from work would have allowed me to work on sessions on this site and my own self esteem without being in the glare of all at work. You need to put your health and your daughter first. Remember, we work to enable us to live, not live to go to work. I wish you good luck in your decision, be kind to yourself.x
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lovelybones, Only you can answer that question. If you continue on the path that you are on currently, where will you end up? Where would you like to be instead and how will you get there? Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
16 years ago 0 1890 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey LB, Welcome and thanks for the clear post you put on here. I sympathise with you and I hear your question. In my opinion, what I'd do, I mean, is apply for the disability leave and take the time to concentrate on your child and yourself. See your doctor and spend a lot of that free time going through the sessions in this programme and talking to people who understand what you're going through. Personally, I have no time for the people in the office and their gossip - that stuff is going to happen even if you switch from Tea to coffee during the breaks... tell your manager all about your problems and what your doctor recommends for you and depend on his/her integrity and discretion for what it's worth. I see it as YOU being the most important person in yours and your daughter's life right now and you can't take care for her the way you'd like to while you're in real crisis.
16 years ago 0 40 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I've been considering taking short term disability leave from work because my depression has gotten to the point where it's taking over my life. It's affected my work in a big way (absences, lates, can't concentrate or get anything done) and it's created some problems with co-workers. They don't know what's going on, but my manager knows a little about my situation and has been very understanding. But I have so much anxiety about going to work every day because I feel soooo bad when I'm late or gone or behind in my work that it just feeds the feeling that I'm a loser. Not to mention that I make my daughter late for school every day because I just can't get my butt out of bed. She gets in trouble for being late and that really makes me feel like a failure as a mom. How do I know when it's time to say "I just can't do all of this anymore"? I'm worried about the effect it would have on my job and the stigma attached to "letting the cat out of the bag"(and becoming the latest office gossip). And I'm worried that I would feel even worse, like I have allowed depression ruin my life or that I have given up. Or that people would start asking a bunch of questions that I can't bear to answer. I just want to be alone for a while. Ugh.

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