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I have gone downhill fast


18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kelly, No you didn't offend me. I did response to your message and it shows at the top of page 2. I know in the past I didn't realize that some messages have more than one page. I am feeling good at the moment. I think that is because I am trying to think of positive things and I am not dealing with any of my issues in therapy as I am not in the right frame of mind to do that. How are things with you? How is school? Take care and I look forward to hearing from you. Sharon
18 years ago 0 92 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sharon, I hope I didn't offend you when I spoke of my relationship with God. It wasn't my intention at all. I haven't heard from you since then, and I hope all is going well. Kelly
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Gabbi, I am doing much better. I am now going to therapy twice a week and it seems to be helping. I am not having as many negative thoughts. I have written a list of all the positive things in my life and the strides that I have made over the past few months. I keep this with me and look at it when I feel down or have negative thoughts. I will start playing netball in 2 weeks. I am really looking forward to it. Take care - Sharon
18 years ago 0 207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sharon how are you feeling today i hope you are well.How are your anger management techniques doing if they help can you share them with me please i could use some of that :eg: I have had no luck house hunting there is just nothing available in the area i need but i'll keep waiting.I dont have any plans for summer holidays ideally id love to go and spend a bit of time with my best friend but that would involve a lot of driving and that thought just horrifies me im ok driving around my local area but anything more i go into major panics i guess its just something i have to work on.How has it been at work?Gabbi.
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Gabbi, Thanks for your support. I spoke to my Psychiatrist about my thought of harming myself and he told me it might be my return to work, or I need to up my medications or not to delve into so many things with therapy. As I had a second therapy appointment this week we decided not to discuss issues that have been raised but to try and focus on the positive things like going back to work, no more panic attacks, no anxiety. I also have some new techniques in dealing with my kids. At the moment I just seem to yell at my kids and I have a huge anger management problem. How is your house hunting? What are you doing for the summer holidays. Take care and lots of hugs, Sharon
18 years ago 0 207 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sharon please focus on the positives you were able to go to work and stay you rode in a lift and survived it, went to a meeting with loads of people and although uncomfortable you stayed and did what you had to do.Girl im so proud of you :)You have come such a long way since we first met and you will be able to go further just you wait and see.Please see your doctor or therapist about the harming thoughts you have been having i totally understand how you feel been there many times but i got through them and you will too.Your a strong woman you will beat this.It may take a while but you will do it just take one day at a time and think of the positives not the negatives.Please take extra special care of you.Gabbi.
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kelly, Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. I do believe in god and I know that he gives me what he thinks I can handle. I had my second day at work today and I broke down twice. It is really hard as most people at work believe that there were complications from my elbow surgery in May. I feel terrible that I don't correct them. I feel like I am living a lie. I can't hate myself more than I do right now. Thanks once again for your support. Hugs - Sharon
18 years ago 0 92 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sharon, I have been where you are as far as wanting to hurt myself. At one point my husband stopped me from driving because I often thought of going left of center. It is a scary place to be. All I can say is please don't do anything to hurt yourself. There are those who care about you, and would suffer greatly without you. I know that we don't really know each other well, but I know that your encouraging words have meant a lot to me already and I would really like to get to know you better. It has been nice conversing with you. Even more important than me is that God loves you. I don't know where you stand as far as your spiritual life is concerned, but I do know that He does love you. He also knows how we hurt, and even when we don't feel Him around us He is there. I hope this doesn't offend you, but knowing these things are the only reason I have been able to last as long as I have. If it weren't for God and my husband I wouldn't be here today. I hope you continue to work at getting through one day at a time, and know that is all we can do, or all that we are expected to do. If we continue to support each other, we can do this! :o) I'll be praying for you. Kelly
18 years ago 0 189 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kelly, I too have been diagnosed with anxiety, panic attacks which led to agoraphobia. I have only been able to go outside for the past 2 months. Yesterday was my first day back to work. I was fine riding public transport, as I sat near a window and buried my head in the newpaper and didn't look at anyone. Upon arriving at work I took the elevator to the 12th folor. That was extremely difficult as I am sure we stopped in ever floor and there were no windows for me to look out of. I went to a staff meeting with over 100 people and I could feel my chest tightening, my tummy doing flip flops and I was fidgeting with my hands, but I made it through. Increasingly though, I am having thoughts of hurting myself. There seems to be so much pain and I can't stand to be in my skin anymore. It is so hard being me and I am at a crisis point. While I was driving after my therapy session, I had thoughts of having a car accident and I wouldn't have to deal with my pain. I hope you are doing well. Sorry about the ranting and raving. Sharon
18 years ago 0 92 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sharon, I am a special education teacher in Ohio. I live in a very small town near Cedar Point. I enjoy my job very much, but like I said it is really very hard when I go back after a break. I am also diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder. How did your first day go? How did the trip on public trans. go? It's always good to know that you have an "out" if you need it. What do you do? Was there anyone there helping with your responsibilities while you were gone? I know your fear of trying to take everything on and wanting to fix everything. I do the same thing. It is my new montra to keep telling myself "I'm not in charge, I'm not in charge, I'm not in charge." :) It's important for us to remember that no one is able or expected to do everything, and if your co-workers don't think that way it is our responsibility to kindly let them know what is and what isn't within our job descriptions. People will actually start to respect us if we stick up for ourselves without being mean about it. Let me know how your day went! :) Kelly

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